


early mornings

by ahjusshi



Category: Taynew
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drunk Sex, Eventual Smut, Friends to Lovers, Fuckbuddies, Light Angst, M/M, OCs Mentioned - Freeform, Smut, office!AU, original character - may, taynew - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-11 04:20:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20147527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahjusshi/pseuds/ahjusshi
Summary: Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. This could not be happening. Why did he do that? Why did he say that? This could ruin their friendship for all New knew. “Fuck,” New hissed out loud, letting his palms dig into his closed eyes as his head pounded. He fucked up, he fucked up bad.“Hin?”New ripped his hands away from his face, letting them drop to his lap as he twisted around to look at his friend who had just woken up. He watched the confusion take over Tay’s features, drowsiness gone as his eyebrows knit together in confusion, letting the memory of the night before sink in as he glanced around the hotel room. All of the alcohol, all of the touches, all of the kisses, and all of the sounds. New flinched when Tay looked back at him with wide eyes and muttered his own curse, “Shit.”-After having drunk sex with his friend after a company dinner, New was horrified. He thought their friendship was ruined, but Tay hadn’t minded at all. In fact, how else could they de-stress from all the amount of work they do at their company?Tay and New then decide to become what some would call “friends-with-benefits” but what happens when New finds out he has feelings for his own friend?





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this will be the re-written version of early mornings. i've decided that it will be chaptered and there might be some new characters introduced as well as some changes in the plot. i ask the readers who have returned to this fanfiction not to spoil anything in the comments! i also want to thank anyone who had previously read the old version and thank everyone who is reading this new one as well.
> 
> if you prefer to read this on wattpad, my account username is ahjusshii. (two i’s).
> 
> some warnings before you read:  
this fanfiction will have smut! so if you're uncomfortable with reading such, please do not continue! you can read other taynew fanfiction by other writers or even my other works as well.
> 
> i do not own any of the characters mentioned in the fanfiction and none of the written events are true. all situations and dialogue are based on my own imagination. also a heads up is that some of these characters might be made up or are/is original character(s)
> 
> thank you.  
ahjusshi

New was dreading to go to the company dinner once Saturday hit. All he wanted to do when he woke up was just lay in bed and sleep some more. Maybe even call Tay up later to bring him some food when he gets hungry.

New lets out a long sigh, peeling his eyes open and staring up at his bedroom ceiling. He didn’t want to get out of the warmth and comfort of his bedsheets, let alone get dressed for some company get-together he suddenly didn’t want to go to. Fuck, why had he agreed to go? He was tired and he needed to appreciate his only two days off before Monday rolls around with more work he already was stressing about.

Feeling his phone buzz, New reaches for it from under his pillow and pulls it out. It was a text message from May.

_You’re still coming, right?_

New grunts, letting his hand drop beside him. How would he decline when he’s already said yes? He even told Tay he was going, but then again, Tay wouldn’t really care if he decided not to show up. New wished May would feel the same way.

Lifting his phone back up to his face, New ignores the message from May and instead decides to call Tay. After the third ring, he hears the familiar voice say, “Hin.”

“Hey,” New croaks. It was the first thing he was saying after waking up.

A pause. “You sound dead.”

New smiles at the comment before clearing his throat. “I just woke up,” New explains, feeling a lot more shit when he thinks about it. He still hasn’t even brushed his teeth or showered. He had come home late last night and had gone straight to bed because he was exhausted.

“Just woke up? What the hell, New? It’s the afternoon! What the hell were you doing?” Tay exclaims in disbelief and it makes New feel a bit better when his friend agreed. What was he doing?

“Work.” New shuts his eyes, imagining the frown Tay must be sporting on his lips. Tay never looks as good with a frown compared to his smile, New thinks.

Tay sighs. “New.”

“I know.”

“Stop straining yourself. I know how you are - ”

“How am I?” New challenges without thought.

“You overwork yourself if there’s a lot of shit that needs to be done and that’s not healthy, especially if we’re talking about your future,” Tay explains without missing a beat, “you need to relax.”

New lets out a dry chuckle. “Sounds easier than it is.”

“Well good thing there’s a company dinner,” Tay says matter-of-factly, “After tonight, you’ll feel a whole lot better. Drink some alcohol, eat some free food, and leave with a hot chick at the end of the night.”

New frowns, remembering why he was feeling especially lazy today. He also remembers the text message he had gotten earlier. “Don’t be like May.”

“What? What’s this got to do with her?”

“She texted me this morning, asking if I was still coming,” New explains, running his fingers through his oily hair, “Seems like she knew I was thinking of backing out.”

Tay laughs before abruptly stopping. “Wait a second.”

“What?”

“She sounds very interested in whether you’re coming or not,” Tay points out.

New rolls his eyes. “You’re being delusional.”

“You said you didn’t flirt with any girls?” Tay asks.

“Yeah.” Not that New remembers anyways.

“You sure? Because she sounds like she likes you.”

New scrunches his eyebrows. “No.”

“Maybe she can be your hook-up,” Tay suggests teasingly.

“Definitely not,” New immediately declines, the bed creaking as he sits up, “she’s practically my boss. In a way.”

“When you put it like that, it does sound a little weird.”

“Exactly.” New breathes out a sigh of relief. He has nothing against May, but she was like another colleague to him; a friend that always helped him out whenever he needed it.

“Either way, Hin, you better come or I’ll drag your ass to the damn dinner myself,” Tay threatens. He didn’t sound intimidating at all.

“But I’m tired,” New whined, a pout on his lips that Tay couldn’t see.

“Then you shouldn’t have stayed at work so late,” Tay says before immediately hanging up without warning.

New blinked, not expecting Tay to end the call. He sighs again, letting himself fall back against the mattress. Guess he couldn’t back out after all.

-

He came.

He came and immediately got himself a Margarita. Or maybe two.

It helped. He hates that it did, but it helped release some of the tension in his shoulders from sitting hunched over a computer almost every day. The drink had burned down his throat with each sip and warmed his insides, making him feel a little less cold in the somewhat chilly day and relaxed him, just like Tay had said. Tay had been right - Tay was always right; Tay always knew what New needed and New didn’t know if he liked that idea.

The place the company had decided to reserve for their get-together was a mixture of a pub and restaurant; it was fairly big seeing how most of the company’s workers had fit with still some empty tables and booths to spare along with a few untaken seats at the bar. It was dimly lit in some parts of the restaurant while the bar area had more light, making it easier to see where you could order your drinks. There was music playing overhead, quiet and relaxing but washed out by the noise of everyone there and New was sat at the far corner of the room in a small, round booth by himself. He didn’t particularly feel like getting up and making friends and he also didn’t see Tay or Off around either.

Finishing up his drink, he hears a voice ask, “You okay?”

New lifts his eyes, letting a small smile rest on his lips when he catches a familiar pair of brown eyes. He stupidly greets, “May.”

“So you came after all, huh?” She took a seat next to New, pressing a little too uncomfortably close to his shoulder.

New scooted away a bit in the booth he was sitting on, making it seem like he was giving her more room to sit. “Um. Yeah. You thought I wouldn’t?”

“Well, I didn’t know what to think,” she says sheepishly, looking away from New and eyeing the contents on the table instead as she ran a hand through her side bangs. The table was messy, full of New’s empty plates of food along with two empty glasses that were previously filled with tequila, orange liqueur, and lime juice. May finishes, “You didn’t answer my text.”

“Oh.” New stupidly replies. He had forgotten. He was too busy getting ready and then was rushing out the door when he realized he was going to be late. Now that he thought about it, could someone be late for a company dinner? Still, he apologizes, “Sorry.”

"What did he do wrong now?"

New glances up at the newcomer, a grin immediately taking over his features when he sees Tay. He lets his eyes rank down his body, appreciating the light button-up that showed off his collarbone and ripped black jeans that hugged his thighs just right. Tay was still looking attractive as ever. New pats the free space beside him, watching as Tay takes the seat and leans close to his ear to whisper a soft, “Hi.”

It causes knots to form in New’s lower abdomen and his cheeks to burn, forcing him to back away from Tay. Had he drunk too much? New was a lightweight, but he didn’t feel drunk yet. Shaking the moment away, he glances over at May instead and sees that she was staring at the two with a frown.

“I thought I would’ve had to drag you out of your house today when you called, but it seems like you made it on your own just fine,” Tay says, filling in the silence around them.

New bites his lip, remembering their conversation from a few hours ago. "Shut up. And to answer your previous question, I didn't do anything wrong."

"Why were you apologizing then?" Tay asks, peeking a look at May, "your friend here looks a little…” Tay doesn’t finish his sentence and instead asks, “Are you bullying her?”

"He's not bullying me," May answers immediately, thinning her lips before quietly adding, "New isn't like that." She looks down at her lap and New follows her gaze, noticing how she was picking at her fingernails.

Before New could wonder why, he hears Tay say, "Oh? You know him that well?" New glares at his friend, shoving his foot into Tay’s in the hope that he would quit. He knew what Tay was playing at and New had already expressed that he wouldn’t involve himself with May.

"I'm going to go greet other people now," May cuts in, cheeks pink as she stands to her feet. New watches as she says goodbye with a promise to come back later before scurrying away with small, but quick steps.

"Did you see that, Hin? She totally likes you!" Tay exclaims as soon as May was out of earshot, wrapping a hand around New's shoulder and giving him a squeeze.

"Stop that," New fights, gifting another glare at his friend, "I already told you she's like my boss."

"Fine, fine,” Tay gives in, “Then, do you like anybody here?"

"I like the alcohol." New answers, catching Tay’s eye roll as he asks his next question, "Will you bring me another glass of Margarita?"

Tay lets go of New's shoulders and stands to his feet. "No."

"But you said I could drink," New whined, reaching out to hold Tay’s hand from leaving.

"I said you could drink, not get drunk," Tay corrected, pulling his hand free from New’s grip, "Now I'm going to go find Off, so don't be too lonely. I'll keep an eye out for your type."

"But you don't know my ty — hey, Tay, wai — " And he's gone. New's all alone again.

Once Tay walks away, New examines the loud room around him. Maybe he should go make some new friends, introduce himself to some girls as Tay wants. New shakes his head as soon as the thought comes.

He needs more alcohol.

-

He was drunk. Or at least he thinks he is. It's been a while since New had drunk.

He spots Tay from across the restaurant, sat at the bar and conversing with his colleagues, unlike New. Tay was social, he knew how to talk and he wasn't so antsy like New was, something that New is slightly jealous of. Tay liked talking and giving out his opinions which was why he was perfect for his department while New was only good with numbers.

New let out a sigh, sinking himself further into his seat. He felt lonely. He didn't have any friends besides Tay and Off, maybe even some from University. He should really contact them some time, he notes mentally, but it's been five years since he graduated. Would they still remember him? Would they still care?

New shuts his eyes, thinking back to how easy University was. He sometimes wanted to go back; he wasn't as tired or busy with work then and he had more than three friends, but he also hadn't met Tay then. Tay was his best friend, his right-hand man, his…He was just always there, always in the back of New's mind. He became a big part of New's busy everyday life and he really liked that. But unlike New, Tay kept his friends from University and still continued to meet up with them from time to time whenever he wasn’t so busy. It was those days New would eat out alone or with someone else.

But how? New wondered, how did Tay make time for others when New was barely keeping his eyes open once he came home. Maybe it’s because New didn’t care much, maybe it’s because New was a shitty person, maybe —

"New?" he heard the familiar, soft voice appear beside him, "Are you sleeping?"

"How does he do that?" New decided to mutter, keeping his eyes shut. He didn't know why he was saying this, didn't know why he felt so lonely. He usually wouldn't mind. He felt warmth radiating from his side and he knew May was sat beside him, so he continued, "How does he not get tired?"

"Who? Get tired of what?" May asks and New felt a hand lightly touch his arm, "Is everything okay?"

No. He was tired and he wanted to go home, to hide away from everyone, sleep and forget everything he felt the today because that was what he was good at - avoiding his problems. He didn't like how he felt, how he was comparing himself to his best friend and feeling like absolute shit like he had this morning except worse. "I feel lonely."

"You aren't alone though," May says softly and New finally opens his eyes to look at her, letting his gaze linger on her brown ones before he shifts them to her thin lips. They were tinted a soft pink today, New notices as he watches them move. "I'm here."

She's here. It sounds comforting to his mind and maybe Tay was right, maybe New needed to let himself go because Tay was always right. Tay knew him better than New knew himself. It's been a while since he's touched himself and even longer since he's had sex with anybody. Maybe he needed this and May was right there, the only person that showed any sort of interest towards him.

So, he let himself lean towards her, watching the way she closed her eyes. She smelled nice, New notes once he was close enough, like flowers and a hint of alcohol. New wondered how he smelt right about now.

His eyes ran through her face, spotting a stray mole on her right cheek he’s never noticed before and her lips were slightly puckered, ready for New to kiss her. New stared at them. Was he doing the right thing? She was the Team Leader for his department. Wouldn't this make things weird? Wouldn't this change their relationship? New didn't know if he'd be able to talk with her again if he did this.

New thought back to Tay, his words of letting himself go replaying like a chant in his mind. He wants to, but he just _can’t_.

"Sorry," New muttered as he ripped his eyes away from her lips and pulled his arm back from her hand, moving away and putting distance between them. He couldn't, not to her. He should just go home and sleep instead.

"New?"

"Sorry," he repeated, shuffling out of the booth he was sat in for the last few hours. He felt a little bit dizzy when he stood, waiting a few seconds to adjust from the sudden movement. He felt queasy then, noticing the sick feeling slowly rise up his chest. "I can't," he explains, eyes turning away and resting on Tay who was still happily chatting away with his colleagues.

It made New feel a little sad again, but the feeling was immediately replaced when he felt the urge to vomit. Before May could speak, New turned away and rushed towards the bathroom.


	2. Chapter 2

New grunted, leaning his body back against his chair as he stretched his arms overhead. He had just finished his presentation for tomorrow's meeting, finalizing any details he might've forgotten. Looking around the almost empty office room now, he notices a few lingering colleagues of his at their own desks, hunched over their own computers, working away.

It was always like that during the autumn season. Almost everyone would stay after their required hours to finish their work in time. It was the busiest time of the year for the Advertising team, the winter season looming overhead when many of their company's products would go on sales in stores for Christmas and New Year's and it stressed New during the leading months prior December. However, it will pass as fast as it came and everything will settle until summer sales roll around.

Feeling his stomach grumble for some food, New focuses his attention away from his thoughts and determines it was time for him to leave.

Turning back towards his computer, New makes sure to save his work and forward it to his Team Leader before shutting his PC down. He used to forget to fully shut off his computer when he was just starting to work at GMM, but the company head would always nag about saving electricity and it has now become a habit to New after working at the same company for five long years.

New grabs his phone from where it was placed face down beside his keyboard and looks through his contacts, tapping at the name he knew wouldn't mind eating with him after a long workday. New just hoped he hadn't left the building yet. He held his phone to his ear and listened to the ring before the familiar voice of his best friend replaced the noise.

"Hin."

New grinned at the nickname. "Hi, Tay."

"You finished with work on your floor?"

New nodded before realizing Tay couldn't see him. "Yep, just finished. What about you?"

"I'm just about done. We had a quick meeting in my department and we've just wrapped up," Tay answers and New didn't miss the other muffled voice through the line, "Off says hi, by the way."

New laughs. "Hey." He waits as his friend relays his greeting back to Off.

Off and Tay worked at GMM as well; the three were all accepted the same year and were interns, working alongside each other for a few months before getting separated to different departments with Off and Tay in Planning and New in Advertising. In those short months, however, the three grew close and quickly became friends, hanging out whenever they had time.

Once Tay's attention was back on him, New quickly explained his reason of call, "I'm hungry, Tay. Eat with me."

"Of course you are," Tay says after a fond chuckle, "what do you want to eat?"

New smiles at his answer. He loved how easy it was to go out with Tay, knowing the male was friend-oriented. He somehow always had plans with a friend and New sometimes wondered if Tay was ever tired.

"Anything is fine with me," New answers, looking around his desk to see if he had left anything important out before he left, "meet me down at the lobby and we'll decide when we leave." After a short beat, New also asks, "Is Off coming?"

"Off has plans with that one guy he's been flirting with for about a year now," Tay answers and New could see Tay's eye roll in his mind.

New laughs. "Of course."

"I'll see you downstairs in a few then."

"Yep. Bye for now." New hung up, quickly jumping to his feet and stuffing his phone in his front pocket. He cleans his area thoroughly before grabbing his bag and making his way around his desk and out of the office room.

As he walked through the long corridor towards the elevator, he was immediately stopped when he heard a familiar voice shout, "Hey New!"

New turned around and smiled when he saw May rushing towards him, her brown curls bobbing up and down with every step she took. Her hair hugged her face and settled on her shoulders, complimenting her pale skin and her big, brown eyes. Her lips were also tinted red today, New notices.

"What's the Team Leader doing here so late?" New teasingly asks as May falls into step beside him. They have been working together in the same department since New had joined and May had always helped him through his troubles. Now, they were friends who would occasionally eat out unless New already had plans with Tay.

"Should be asking you the same thing," she fights back with a grin.

"Finished up the overview of this month's sales for tomorrow's meeting," New explains, "I sent you the presentation via email."

"I'll check it later," May hums, "Are you getting off work?"

They stop once they were in front of the elevator, New quick to press the down arrow. He turns to face May after. "Yeah, got plans to eat dinner with Tay."

May rolls her eyes, a frown quick to replace her smile. "Of course. You never eat with anyone else."

"I do," New bickers back lightly, careful not to sound defensive, "I ate with you not long ago."

"That was last month," she points out before poking a finger to his arm, "eat with me tomorrow."

New nods his head, hoping to drop the topic. He didn't particularly enjoy arguing with others, especially his friends. Plus, it was May. She stuck around with him for five years now and she was his only friend in the department as well.

She smiles at his answer, before suddenly clapping her hands. "Oh! Right! Actually, I have something to tell you! I almost forgot."

New raises an eyebrow at that, curious as to what she had to say.

"The company is holding a dinner this weekend to relieve stress before the big sales kick in and to build relationships between co-workers as well as other workers in different departments," May explains, sounding as if she was reciting an email. Noticing New's amused face, May adds, "Sounds a bit bullshit to me too, but at least there's free food and alcohol."

"It wasn't because of that!" New shakes the hand that wasn't holding his bag, "You just sounded like one of my business emails."

"Oh." May lets out a giggle before covering it up with a fake cough. "So, do you want to go? Like I said, free drinks and food and I know how much you appreciate anything with the word 'free' in it."

New hummed, letting the thought settle. He wasn't exactly a social person, always preferring to stay home rather than be out. He also wasn't exactly close to anyone else from the company, his friend list only having three people - Tay, Off, and May - and maybe this could be an opportunity to widen that list. There was also so much work to be done, it only becoming busier as September passes and the holidays coming up.

He settles on saying, "I don't know..."

"It's fine!" May reassures with a smile, "You have the rest of the week to think about it!"

New nods, hearing the elevator ding at its arrival. He looks at May and says, "I'll see you tomorrow then."

It was May's turn to nod this time, waving a hand goodbye. "Tell me if you change your mind and I'll send you the details through text."

New steps into the elevator, pressing the button for the first floor and smiling at May one last time as the door closes. He counts the floors down in his head in habit.

-

They were at a restaurant Tay had chosen in the end. New didn't care as long as the food tasted good and he trusted Tay's tongue. They enjoyed the same type of food which was one of the reasons why New loved to eat out with Tay a lot, except for the fact that New was a bit of a sweet tooth. He could never say no to dessert.

"Have you heard about the company dinner that's happening this weekend?" New brings up after the waiter had taken their meal order. He brings his hands to wrap around the glass of water, busying them so they didn't look awkward.

"Yeah," Tay replied, resting his elbows on the table as he cradled his head, "You going?"

"Are you?"

"Why not?" Tay answered, "It's getting busy at work and this is my last chance at de-stressing before the hell holidays hit."

"And free booze is going to help that?" New asked, raising an eyebrow at his friend. The lighting in the restaurant was pretty shit, but New still noticed how attractive Tay was.

"There's free food too," Tay points out, "So, you going?"

New lets out a short sigh, shoulders slumping and gaze shifting towards his drink. "I don't know..."

"You look tired," Tay blurts out all of a sudden.

That makes New's lips crack a smile. "That's because I _am_ tired."

New looks up at his friend when he didn't reply immediately and notices the frown on his lips. Tay asks, "When was your last day off?"

"I've been working non-stop these past two weeks and I was hoping to catch a break this weekend," New says, letting go of his drink and instead, tucking them under his thighs, "but suddenly, there's a company dinner."

Tay sits silently for a few ticking seconds before saying, "I think I know what you need, New."

"And what is that?"

Tay smirks, dropping his hands onto the table and leaning in close. New follows his friend's lead with his own, almost like they were sharing secrets. "When was the last time you had sex with someone?"

New backed away, glaring at Tay who had started laughing at New's reaction. "You've been hanging around Off too much!" New accuses, crossing his arms across his chest childishly.

Tay shrugs once he quiets down. "Look, you look hella tired, okay? You've been working way too hard and you need to relax some and that's one way to, right?" Tay shuts up when the waiter comes with their food, placing their plates of mouth-watering food in front of them. Once they leave, Tay adds, "Plus it feels good."

"You're crazy," New replies as he watches Tay dig into his meal, but the thought still lingers in New's mind.

It _has_ been a while since he did any sort of sexual activity. New has been so busy with work that he barely has time to even get himself off when he wakes with morning wood nevermind having sex with anybody. And even if he agreed with Tay, who would he even have sex with? New wasn't really a flirty guy despite his looks - yes, he was very aware of how he looked. Tay liked to remind him of it sometimes.

"See, you're thinking about it," Tay annoyingly interrupts his thoughts.

"It doesn't matter," New says, "I don't have anyone to have sex _with_. Your idea has failed already."

"That's easy," Tay says with a wave of his hand, stuffing his face with rice before continuing, "we're having a company dinner, right?"

New nods warily.

"There'll be plenty of girls there."

New thins his lips. "I don't know, Tay."

"I'll even help you. Off too!"

New lets out a snort. "That sounds like an awful plan. You two might make the girls run away instead."

"Shut up!" Tay barks with a laugh, leaning across the table to playfully push New. "Are you coming now or not?"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." New agrees, just wanting the topic to end. He picks up his own spoon, finally letting himself dig in as conversation switches to when they're planning to go to the gym.


	3. Chapter 3

_Tay, I want to go home_.

Once New hits send, he lets himself fall back against the gray brick wall of the restaurant. He felt a little better after puking but now felt tired above all else. He was glad he didn't have work tomorrow because he would no way in hell be able to get up in the early am after tonight. He hadn't even drank that much, he had thought, but he must've been wrong because his head felt unbearably heavy.

New felt his phone buzz in his hand and he turns it on to sees two unopened messages. He ignores the one sent from May asking if he was okay and goes to read the one from Tay instead.

_Already?_

New's thumbs fly across his phone screen as he types in his reply, _Please? I'm outside_.

New shuts his phone after, stuffing it in the back pocket of his pants. He was ready to go home and get some long-awaited sleep. He was glad he didn't have to wait long when he saw Tay rush out of the restaurant's doors with a worried look on his face.

When Tay spots him, he walks up to him with three long strides and reaches a hand out to hold New's arm. "What's wrong?" was the first thing he asks.

"Nothing," New answers, standing up properly. He wondered if he looked so fucked up that Tay was worried. "Have you drank any? I need a ride home."

"You didn't drive here?"

"I did - just that I'm still feeling a little tipsy and it wouldn't be good for me to drive," New explained, glancing at his car and back towards Tay, "I thought maybe you could instead."

Tay frowns, his hand letting go of New's arm and going back to his side. "I wasn't expecting to drive anyone tonight, so I had a couple of drinks."

"Right." New looks back at his still parked car a few feet away. Of course, Tay wouldn't. New was stupid to think Tay would be expecting to drive anyone home, let alone himself. Shaking his head, New decided to think about the situation. He didn't trust himself to drive home, too scared he might get into an accident in Bangkok's busy traffic.

But then what? Did he have to wait until he didn't feel sick anymore? New might fall asleep on the streets by the time he felt sober enough to drive.

"There's a hotel pretty close by though," Tay says, catching New's attention and relieving his worries, "just a few buildings down."

New breathes out a sigh of relief. "Thank god. I thought I'd have to sleep outside."

Tay chuckles. "Let's go. I'll come with you."

-

Once they had arrived and checked in, New was quick to claim the single bed as Tay went straight to the bathroom that was next to the entrance. It was fairly big, the right size for two people who were staying the night. The bed was in the middle of the room with a small dresser neighboring one side of it with a low-dimmed lamp, a remote for the TV hanging on the wall across the bed, and a sheet of paper that had the channel numbers. To the left of the bed had a curtained ceiling-to-floor window, darkening the room even more than it was and the tan-colored walls were decorated with paintings of different types of flowers, giving the room some color besides the browns and whites.

New was quick to draw the curtains back and was welcomed with a large view of the dark, busy streets of Bangkok. It was cloudy as usual, the stars hard to see and the moon nowhere to be found. It might start raining soon, New thought.

There was also a mini-kitchen in the room opposite the window, next to the bed and TV which was where Tay was rummaging through at the moment after having used the bathroom, possibly searching for food. New's suspicions were proven wrong when his friend had turned around with a bottle of wine and two glasses in his hands along with a wide grin on his lips.

"More drinking?" New asks though he wasn't really complaining. He sat against the bed on the wooden floor, facing the window and looking up at the night sky. "I was actually planning on sleeping, but I guess that plan is out the window."

Tay just laughs as he sits beside New, a fair distance between them. "Guess so."

New watched as Tay twisted the cheap-looking bottle of wine open and poured it into their glasses. "Are you okay?" Tay suddenly asks, catching New off-guard.

New safely settles with saying, "I don't know what you mean."

"I saw what happened," Tay says with a calm voice.

New rips his eyes off Tay and towards his lap, noticing his fingers picking at each other. "What happened?" he asks quietly.

"You were about to kiss her," Tay says and the memory flashes in New's eyes, "but you stopped."

New looks up at Tay, frowning at his friend for reminding him of the moment. Tay just gives him a pity smile, offering the glass of wine to him. Grabbing the drink from Tay's hand, New downs the drink in one go before handing the empty glass back at Tay to refill. It was going to be a long night, New concluded.

"Did you stop because she works with you?" Tay asked, pouring New some more wine before setting the bottle aside and picking his own glass in his hand. The two clinked their drinks together before taking a long sip. When New didn't make a move to answer, Tay presses, "New."

"I know," New cuts. Tay didn't say anything after, clearly waiting for New to continue and explain. And New does, "I don't like her the way she likes me. She obviously wants something more from me and I just can't give her that - I don't feel the way she feels for me, you know? She might get the wrong idea if we did kiss or more and it'll fuck up the relationship we have now."

Tay doesn't say anything for a long while before letting out a breathy laugh. "Wow."

New sighs, leaning his head back against the bed and closing his eyes. "I know."

"I honestly thought you didn't know."

New glances at Tay and cracks a small smile. "It's pretty obvious."

"Yeah."

The two stay silent after, taking small sips from their glasses of wine. After a while, New decides to ask, "Do you think it's shitty of me to ignore her feelings like this?"

"Kind of, yeah."

New didn't even have to ask the question to know the answer. He already knew he was a shit person for acting indifferently to May's feelings, but he was scared he was going to lose a friend if he rejects her. He avoided the problem for so long already and he thought a few more months wouldn't matter, but this was a way he was leading her on. Fuck, he was such a bad person. He sighs, the feeling from the restaurant coming back. Tay probably wouldn't be like this. Tay wouldn't let the matter drag out. Tay was nice, unlike New.

"You should talk to her," Tay says, interrupting New's thoughts.

He didn't want to. That meant addressing the problem and New wasn't good with that. Still, New settles with saying, "Yeah. I should."

-

"Didn't you say you were sensitive here?" New asks, his head hanging off to his side as he stares at Tay. It was a random question. He was simply looking over at Tay, admiring his friend's features when his eyes had shifted towards his throat and noticed the bulging adam's apple.

"Where?" Tay asks, looking at New.

New points at his throat, hoping Tay understood. He didn't have a protruding adam's apple like Tay did, something New was slightly jealous of.

"Oh. Yeah."

"Why?"

Tay shrugs and answers, "I just am." He finishes his glass of wine and frowns when he remembers that they had finished the bottle.

New snorts. "That's such a shit answer."

"I don't particularly have a reason," Tay argues back lightly, "I was born this way."

"It's stupid. Like it's not even your neck, but your adam's apple."

Tay shoves New's shoulder with a hard push, but New could tell he wasn't mad about his comment. "Don't make fun of something I can't change about myself!"

New grins. "Sorry."

Tay shrugs, leaning back against the bed and staring out the window. New follows Tay, seeing light drops of water hit the glass. It kind of fit the mood he was feeling. Kind of sad, but happy at the same time because Tay was around. Tay always had that effect with him.

"What if you could change it though?" New blurts without thought.

"Change what?" Tay asks, eyes back on New, "How I feel when people touch my adam's apple?"

New nods.

"I don't think I would really care, but sure."

"Have you let anyone touch it?" New asks next.

"No."

"Not even your family?"

"No."

"Khaotung?"

Tay hummed, thinking about it before answering, "I don't think Khaotung ever got a chance to get close to my adam's apple."

New nods, looking down at his own empty wine glass next to his crossed legs. He had finished it a while ago and he might be a little drunk at the moment. New was a lightweight, what could he do? So, he himself wasn't even prepared when the next question came out of his mouth: "Can I touch it?"

He was expecting Tay to immediately laugh and say no, brush him off as crazy, but nothing came. New looked back up to see Tay's eyes on him, suddenly looking very serious. Did New cross a line? Even with that thought, New continued, "Would you hate me if I touched it?"

Tay shook his head.

New stared at him for a few seconds more before asking, "No to which question?"

"I won't hate you," Tay finally spoke, his eyes softening. "Go for it."

"You sure?" New asks warily, just in case.

Tay nods and that's all it took for New to quickly get on all fours and crawl next to Tay, sitting on his knees and facing his friend. He watches the way Tay's eyes wander over his face, probably wondering what had gotten into New. New wondered too but didn't dwell on it too much. "Don't flinch," he tells Tay.

Tay nods again, sitting still on the floor with his legs crossed as New holds a finger out in front of Tay's throat, letting it linger in the air as he points it directly as Tay's adam's apple. He watches it move as Tay swallows nervously.

"You can back out if you don't - "

"Just fucking do it already, Thitipoom."

New presses his lips together at the choice of name Tay chose, feeling his cheeks burn. What was wrong with him? Shaking the thought away, New presses his finger right on Tay's adam apple who immediately leans away with a yelp and presses his head down, digging his chin into New's hand. New pulls his hand free as he shouts, "I said don't flinch!"

"I can't help it," Tay whines, raising his head up to glare at New.

"Again," New says as he eyes Tay's adam apple. It was one of Tay's most attractive features, aside from his lips and dark, clear skin. "Try not to back away." New raises his finger once more and presses it against Tay's adam's apple, feeling the man tense under his finger. He pushes his finger against it harder, circling the protruding bone with his finger and causing Tay to let out a small whimper.

New freezes, eyes wide as they land on Tay's own shocked face. He was not expecting him to make any sort of noise, nor was Tay apparently.

"S-sorry," New stutters out, starting to pull away from Tay's throat when Tay took ahold of it with a squeeze.

"It's fine," he says and New didn't know what was going on anymore. Tay was just staring at him with his dark, brown eyes, hooded with such intense emotions that New didn't want to name as he pushed New's hand back towards his throat.

New always knew Tay was good looking, but now was probably the most erotic and attractive New has ever seen his friend and he really wanted to take him then. Fuck.

"You can touch it," Tay continued, voice so low and deep that it raised New's baby hairs on his body. Shit. New hated Tay Tawan and how sensual he sounded right about now. He hated how Tay was making him feel, how it was making his body feel.

New watches Tay close his eyes as New pushes his finger against his friend's adam's apple once more and a longer mewl escapes past Tay's lips. The noise immediately rushes downwards, between New's thighs and that's when New realized the reason why he was feeling so hot and bothered - he was getting turned on.

And before New's brain could process the situation and what it was doing to him, he asks, "Tay, can I kiss it?"

"Yeah...yes. Please."

New moved his hands to cradle the back of Tay's head as the male arched it back, allowing New more room. He tilted Tay's head slightly to the side and leaned in close before laying a light kiss on Tay's adam's apple.

He heard Tay suck in a breath.

The response gave New more confidence in his actions. He let his tongue sneak out and lick the adam's apple, circling around the bulge of the bone before lightly scraping it with his teeth before repeating the actions again. Tay groaned a little louder each time, letting out a long, shaky breath after. New decided that he loved those sounds.

"You know - " Tay starts, but New didn't want to listen. All he wanted to hear was Tay's quiet whimpers and grunts, wanted to hear him fall apart with the touch of New's lips on his throat. He wondered if Tay would mind if he left a hickey.

New pushes his lips against Tay's adam's apple again and sucks on the bone before kissing it again after. All the noises Tay lets out go straight to New's now growing member and he's definitely fucked. New knew he was. This was crossing the line of friendship. New knew, but he didn't want to stop. It felt too good to stop and way too scary. If they stopped, New wouldn't know what to say or how to explain what had just happened, so he decided to focus all his attention on making Tay noise dirty sounds from his pretty lips because that was what New was good at - avoiding his problems.

"You know, when I said to leave with a hot, ah - " Tay starts again, trying to speak as New moves on from his adam's apple and up his throat, kissing and nipping anywhere he could, " - when I said to leave with a hot chick, I never, ah, thought it would be me."

New finally pauses his actions, leaning away from Tay's neck and settling his eyes on his friend's. They were darker than normal, maybe because of the lighting or maybe because he was feeling the same way New was. It made him wonder if Tay was enjoying this as much as he did.

"Is this you telling me I can fuck you?" New asks bluntly. He didn't know where the confidence came from but didn't hate it.

And he knew he would probably regret this in the morning, but Tay tilts his head to the side and smirks that gorgeous smile, so New pushes those worries to the back of his mind because he avoids all his problems. All he knew right now was that he wanted to kiss and touch Tay, to hear those dirty noises again and maybe even hear Tay moan his name just once. Besides, it didn't seem like Tay hated what was going on anyways.

With that in mind, New wasn't afraid of leaning forward and finally taking Tay's lips into his.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, this is legit my first time ever writing proper smut, so bare with me, okay? hopefully i’ll get better as this fic goes on.

The first thought that came to New's mind was that Tay's lips were a bit chapped, but he didn't mind. He was too busy gripping the older male's hair to care how Tay's lips were against his when all he felt was pleasure and _god fuck_, Tay was going to be the death of him.

He was still wary though, wondering if this was okay or if this was going too far, but at the same time wanted more; He wanted to continue wherever this was heading to. He wanted this to get far beyond _just kissing_, he wanted to leave more bruises on his neck and maybe his body, he wanted to throw him on the bed, he wanted to have sex with him. Fuck,_ he wanted to have sex with him_.

The thought gave New the courage to straddle onto Tay's lap and deepen the kiss, tongue intruding the other's mouth aggressively as they both fought to keep up with the other.

Tay tasted of wine. Wine and the meal he ate back at the restaurant a few hours ago and New didn't mind at all because Tay still tasted good. Tay tasted like Tay and Tay made New feel safe somehow.

New felt Tay's hands on his waist, squeezing him every once in a while with every small moan he let out before slowly sliding their way under his dress shirt. New shuddered at the touch, goosebumps forming and his baby hairs rising in alert as Tay ran his palms across his back in the best possible way. It was maddening.

"Bed," Tay breathed out as soon as New went back to biting and sucking Tay's neck, leaving one or two hickey's wherever he can. Good thing they didn't have work tomorrow or Tay would've killed him, though it wouldn't disappear by Monday either.

Somehow, they managed to crawl their way up on the bed and New was still straddling Tay's lap, his hard member digging into Tay's thigh as the two continued locking lips. New believed he would never get enough of Tay's lips against his; they were addictive, just like Tay himself. Maybe that's how Tay kept most of his friends and maybe that's how Tay kept New so close too.

New pulled away from the male and sat up to unbutton his shirt, fumbling with each button as he went down the line. His fingers were moving clumsily fast, maybe because he was horny or because he was slightly tipsy, but it made it harder for himself to unbutton the shirt. Tay didn't seem to mind though, chuckling at New's frustration.

"I'm never going to wear a dress shirt again," New muttered to himself, finally pulling it off and flinging it to the side without a care.

"Did you bring condoms and lube?" Tay asked as he latched his lips onto New's exposed skin. He was nipping at New's collarbone as New's hands roamed their way inside Tay's shirt, tugging to pull it off.

"Fuck," New whined in memory, shutting his eyes as Tay sucked at his skin, "_no_, I didn't think I was going to do this at—"

"Thank god I did," Tay interrupted, pulling away and gifting New a smirk. He then proceeded to pull the two items out of the pocket of his pants and showed them to New, swinging them side to side.

New only threw himself on Tay, mashing their lips together in response.

-

"First time?"

"What?" New manages to ask between his pants of breath, squinting one eye open to look at Tay above him. Somehow they had switched positions as they were sucking face, now fully naked with Tay sat straddled on New's thighs.

New had two of Tay's lubed fingers inserted inside him, getting him ready and prepped as Tay told him to relax his body in the most calming tone every time he would tense up. It stung a bit, but when New focused on the pleasure and Tay's soft voice, it wasn't too bad.

"Is this the first time you're getting fucked?" Tay asks again, leaning down and leaving a light kiss on New's chest.

New felt himself blush, though his body was already hot enough. He shouldn't be embarrassed, but he was. "Yeah." He shut his eyes again, telling himself to relax his body as Tay continued stretching him out.

"What about you?" New asked, reaching his hands towards Tay only to pull him down and kiss him once more. They have done lots of kissing this past hour. He lets him ago when Tay adds a third finger, pumping them a little faster. "Is this your first time fucking a male?"

Tay shook his head, a devious grin on his face. He looked annoyingly hot and New wanted to kiss him again. Tay interrupted his thoughts, "I've gone around."

Of course he has. The thought of Tay fucking other men gave New a weird sick feeling inside his stomach just for a short second and before he could wonder why, Tay was already pulling his fingers out.

New gasped, then let out a whimper from the cold air that escaped inside his hole. "Tay," he whined, hoping his friend understand.

"I know."

New watched Tay unwrap the condom he had brought, fitting it on his pretty cock properly before opening the bottle of lubricant and lathering himself up nicely. Tay looked up at New once he was finished, leaning down and pressing a harsh kiss on New's lips.

New gratefully accepted it, wrapping his hands around Tay's neck and pulling him closer. He pulled and sucked Tay's lips, enjoying the taste of Tay before he was pushed away.

-

New bite his bottom lip, keeping himself from making a sound as Tay inserted himself slowly. He focused on relaxing his body, letting his walls wrap around Tay's member and adjusting.

"Tay."

Tay leaned down again, pressing kisses on New's face and body. He brought a hand that wasn't holding himself upright to wipe away the growing tears from New's eyes and kissed those too. "You're doing great," he whispered.

New didn't dare to open his eyes. Instead, he grabbed Tay from the back of his neck and pulled him in for another kiss feverishly. Tay's kisses were addicting and relaxing, and it made the pain lessen. Once New didn't feel the sting as strongly at first, he said, "Okay, move."

And Tay did, slowly at first to let New adjust before building a rhythm that they could follow easily.

And New reacted to every move, letting out quiet grunts and groans, mewls and moans, as well as the occasional curses. His body and face felt hot, heart rate high, and his hands were holding onto Tay like his life depended on it.

"Tay, Tay, Tay, Tay, Tay," he chanted when he felt a cold hand wrap around his hard cock, squeezing his member and pressing his thumb to the tip. "Tay, no, wait!" Tay pulled short rhythms, trying to match his own quick pace and New could only plead, "This is too much, Tay, I'm going to—"

New's body froze, voice stuck in the back of his throat as he gasped dryly. He pushed his head back against the pillow, eyes scrunched so tight that he could see stars as he came and his grip on Tay tightened as the said male rode him out through it all.

"Me too," he heard Tay say as the male picked up his own pace, both hands now on either side of New's head. It wasn't long before he came too, kissing New on to lips as he let himself out clean. Once he was done, he slumped himself down on New's body and let out a long, quiet groan.

New felt his body relax against the mattress, his eyes suddenly feeling very heavy. "Tay," he wanted to warn.

Tay only grunted, pulling himself up and out of New before throwing himself beside him instead.

"I'm sleepy," New informs, eyes now closed and slowly falling into slumber.

"Mm, me too." New felt Tay move closer towards him, leaving a wet kiss on his cheek before snuggling himself beside him.

-

New felt a harsh light on his eyes, irritating him for waking him from his slumber. He never had his curtains opened in his room, so why had forgotten last night? New groaned and without opening his eyes to keep the sleep in, he twisted his body to escape the light when he felt a sharp pain shoot up from between his legs.

He jumped up in alert, eyes opened wide as he looked down at his body. "What," he croaked out, noticing the fact that he was naked before taking his eyes away from his free dick and to the unknown room he was in, "the fuck?"

Suddenly, the memories from last night rushed into his brain along with pain: the drinking, the hotel, the touching, the kissing, _the_ _fucking_.

"What the fuck?" he repeated again, holding his head with a hand as he looked around the messy hotel room again. The curtains were drawn and the sun was harshly looking down at them from the window, a few clouds in the sky and clothes were thrown all across the floor in a mess. He noticed Tay beside him, still sleeping soundly when it all finally came together.

Oh fuck, he was fucked. _Literally_.

"Shit," he cursed, still staring at Tay laid beside him with wide eyes. Did he have sex with Tay?

No, he didn't want to believe it. "No, fuck," New muttered, a second hand coming up to hold his throbbing head as the memories filled up, "shit, _what_?"

He had sex with his best friend? New did?

_"Is this you telling me I can fuck you?"_

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck_. This could not be happening. Why did he do that? Why did he _say_ that? This could ruin their friendship for all New knew - this could mess up everything they had together, this could make them awkward, this could make them not friends. Holy shit, _this could make them not friends_.

New froze at the thought. He didn't want to lose Tay as a friend - Tay was his best friend, Tay was his _only_ friend.

"Fuck," New hissed out loud, letting his palms dig into his closed eyes as his head pounded. He fucked up, he fucked up bad.

"Hin?"

New ripped his hands away from his face, letting them drop to his lap as he twisted around to look at his friend who had just woken up. He watched the confusion take over Tay's features, drowsiness gone as his eyebrows knit together in confusion, letting the memory of the night before sink in as he glanced around the hotel room. All of the alcohol, all of the touches, all of the kisses, and all of the sounds. New flinched when Tay looked back at him with wide eyes and muttered his own curse, "Shit."

"I, I, I'm sorry," New stammered, looking around the room for something else to occupy his eyes.

_Shit, shit, shit_, what should he do? What should he say? He hadn't thought this far, hell, he hasn't fully digested the situation! Why did Tay have to wake up just then?

"Why are you apologizing?"

_Because I fucked up_, New thought to himself. This was all his fault. If only his drunk ass didn't suddenly ask to fuck Tay and besides, he's the one who got fucked instead. How did he manage to mess that up?

"New?"

New's eyes widened. Tay didn't use his nickname. Was he mad? Should he leave?

"I, I...I think I need to go," New decides to say, spotting his briefs beside the bed and reaching down to pick it up. He needed time to think over the situation, he needed time to wrap his brain around this - it was all too much.

"Shouldn't we talk about this?" Tay asked.

New didn't stop after pulling on his briefs, standing from the bed and searching for his clothes.

"I need time," he lamely explains without looking at Tay. He didn't want to imagine what face Tay was pulling then.

"Oh."

He finds his pants and pulls them on before slipping into his white dress shirt. " Yeah," he says without looking back, putting on his shoes and rushing out of the hotel room without a goodbye. "Sorry."


	5. Chapter 5

The weekend had passed and New wasn't ready to go back to work and possibly see Tay after everything that had happened just a day ago. He considered calling in sick when he woke Monday morning, but remembered all the work he had yet to start _and_ finish.

So, he got his ass up from his bed that he had been hiding in for the last few hours and took a long shower. He washed himself throughly, rinsing away the bed sweat and oil he's been building since he came home from the hotel which reminded him that he needed to wash his bed sheets as well.

The thought of possibly not seeing Tay at work calmed his anxious nerves a bit, reassuring him that they were on separate floors and Tay had no reason to be on his department nor did New have on his. At the same time, however, New wanted to see Tay again. It's been far too long since he last talked to his best friend and it felt a bit strange. He also wanted to see how Tay was. Was he freaking out about the situation just as much as New was? Did he even care? Did he feel like a mess like New did? Was their friendship over? What were they after this whole thing? What happens to them now?

New assumes those questions would be answered if he only talked to Tay, but he didn't feel ready. Tay would probably call their friendship off if New decided to talk it out with him. Shit, why was everything so complicated? Why had this have to happen? If only he kept himself_ to himself_. Why did he have to go and touch Tay?

Shaking the thoughts away, New focused on finishing his shower and quickly drying himself clean before getting dressed. He picked out a nice outfit where it looked like he hadn't just been rotting away in his bed for a weekend straight and took extra care of his hair, styling it the way Tay would say looks handsome to make himself feel at least a bit better.

-

New anxiously walked inside the GMM building, looking around the first floor with wary eyes as he scouted out for one man in particular. When he didn't spot Tay anywhere, he let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding and quickly made his way towards the elevator.

He greeted the others inside politely and pressed his floor number before standing straight, looking ahead when he sees just who was running toward his direction.

His eyes widen, fear washing over him when he notices his two friends rushing towards the elevator before it could close. New immediately turns around and steps behind another employee, facing the elevator wall and hoping he hid himself well enough so Off and Tay wouldn't take notice of him.

He knew it was stupid and cowardly to hide from them, but he just wasn't ready to see Tay yet. He didn't want to make any sort of awkward conversation and he needed more time.

"C'mon, Tay!" New heard Off's voice as the two stepped inside, "Just tell me!"

"No," Tay denied.

It seemed they hadn't seen him. New didn't let himself relax though, knowing any kind of movement or sound might make them turn around and take notice of him.

"Why? You usually tell me everything!"

"I already said no, Off."

"Did you tell New?" Off asks.

New's ears perk up at their conversation. Tell him what? Why did Off mention him? Was it perhaps about what happened Saturday night? Did Tay tell Off? But why?

_No_, New tells himself, _Tay wouldn't_. He was just being paranoid.

The elevator stops moving then, dinging as the doors slide open. It wasn't his floor nor was it Tay's and Off's. To New's horrid luck, the employee in front of him steps out and New quickly pushes himself deeper into the corner of the elevator.

"Off, just drop it," Tay answers, sounding defeated.

They haven't noticed him. New lets out a silent breath, hearing the elevator doors close and feeling it start to move again. They were the only ones inside now, along with two other female employees who were on their phones.

"You're avoiding the question!" Off accuses, "If you told New, why can't you tell me?"

New wrinkled his forehead. Know what? What did he know? What were they even talking about?

"Off."

"You didn't even try to hide them, so I don't understand why you won't tell me," Off says in a whiny, child-like voice. New could imagine the pout on his friend's face.

Not hiding what? New wonders if he should look. Maybe not, but he was curious.

"I don't see a reason to hide it," Tay simply answers.

"Or you just couldn't. It's literally all over your neck, Tay," Off says with a amused chuckle, "whoever left them was going rough."

Curiosity got to the best of New and he slowly twisted his body around, peeking a glance at his two friends standing in the front of him. Off was standing with his arms crossed, looking at Tay with a smirk while Tay was looking forward, away from New.

New's gaze travels to Tay's open neck and widens in surprise when he notices just what Off was talking about.

Hickeys. Lots of them, displayed all over Tay's throat with some dark and prominent while others were slowly fading out. And they were from him.

"Holy shit."

Off turns around then, having heard New's curse. "Oh! New!" his friend blurts, clearly surprised New was there.

_Shit_.

Tay follows, twisting around to look at New and seeming just as shocked as Off.

_Fuck_.

"Hi," New lamely greets as he switches his gaze from Tay's neck to Off. He doesn't move from his corner, hoping to stay the small distance away from Tay. He didn't think he had it in him to stand beside his friend with all those hickeys on show that he had left without remorse.

Tay didn't have the same opinion, it seemed. "Hin," he said in his usual soft tone, stepping one foot closer.

New automatically looked at Tay when he said his nickname, staring at the familiar pair of brown eyes that he had missed looking at. New drops his gaze down to Tay's neck again (it's hard not to look), staring at all the bruises that the male hadn't even tried to hide. It reminded New of the night, making him lower his eyes to the floor because he just couldn't continue looking without seeing the memory play in his mind.

"Hey New," Off speaks up, catching New's attention away from the ground, "do you know who gave those to Tay?"

"Off," Tay warns sternly.

"No, shut up," Off interrupts with a shake of his hand towards Tay, "New?"

New's brain splutters for a good enough excuse, but to his some fortune of luck, the elevator dings as the door opens just in time to Off and Tay's floor.

"Let's go, Off," Tay says immediately, obviously trying to close the subject.

"But - "

"We're going to be late," Tay warns.

Off sighs in defeat, shoulders slumping. "Fine, but we're not done with this."

New notices Tay rolling his eyes.

"I'll see you later, New," Off says, waving a hand goodbye before stepping off the elevator.

New nods, gaze switching from Off to Tay who was already staring at him. That's when New notices how tired Tay really looked. He had dark bags under his eyes and they didn't hold its usual shine, instead seeming drained of life.

New's eyebrows scrunched together in worry, wondering what happened to make his friend look so lifeless and before he could ask why, the elevator doors slid close.

Was it because of Saturday night? New wondered. Did it freak him out so much that he lost sleep? Did he hate New now? It didn't seem like he hated New. Instead, he looked a bit...sad?

New was interrupted from his train of thought when the elevator dinged once more on his floor. Stepping out, New headed towards his department's office room and straight to his desk in a daze.

Why would he be sad though? New doesn't think he's ever seen Tay be sad.

"Oh, New."

Tay and sad don't really go together. It was like a weird mix.

"New?"

Was Tay sad because of him? New made Tay sad?

"New!"

New blinked, suddenly aware he was sat at his desk.

"New?"

New blinked once more, looking up at the person saying his name. "Oh. May." The memories from the restaurant hit him then: how he had almost kissed her and left her when he couldn't. He grimaced at the memory, starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. He should really not be allowed alcohol, it seems.

"Are you okay?" she asks, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I - uhm, yeah," New stammers in response, sitting up in his seat and pulling himself closer to his desk. "I'm fine."

"You sure? You seem a bit dazed."

"I'm fine," New reassures, without stuttering this time. He turns on his computer, waiting for it to boot up after a long weekend. "What about you?"

May drops her hand from New's shoulder, standing up straight. "Hmm. Sad, I guess."

"Oh?" New looks up at her, staring at the bun on the top of her head rather than her eyes. He felt too awkward to.

"Well, you kind of ran off after, you know..."

New bit his bottom lip, shifting his gaze away from her. He was hoping she wouldn't mention it. "Uhm - "

"Hin."

New looks up, seeing Tay standing right in front of his desk looking like he's out of breath. New blinks, eyebrows knitted in confusion. Why was he here? And why has he yet to cover those hickeys?

New hears May huff out a quiet breath before speaking, "What are you doing here? Aren't you in a different department?"

"I, yeah," Tay answers, sounding a bit nervous which was hard to believe because Tay would never get nervous. "I came to talk to New."

Talk to him? Right now? The thought makes New start sweating. Was it already time to talk?

"Well, it's office hours now - "

"Hin?" Tay interrupts, looking at him in the eye.

New swallows his nerves, taking his gaze off Tay's neck and to his brown eyes. "Yeah?"

"Can we have a moment to talk, please?" Tay asks, taking a glance at May and back at him. "Alone?"

Oh god, New didn't know if he was ready. What if Tay ended all relations with him now? Was this it? New was going to lose his best friend and it was all because of drunk sex?

"Hin?"

New bit his bottom lip, staring at Tay's pleading eyes. They didn't look like he usual, bright ones New was used to. He just looked so damn tired. Maybe because he's been waiting to talk? New did say they'll talk later and the time now was later.

New looks up at May who stood with her arms crossed, openly staring at the bruises on Tay's neck with disdain. He didn't like the gaze she was giving his best friend.

"Look, Tawan," May starts, "it's obvious New doesn't want to talk, so - "

"No," New cuts in, standing to his feet, "I'll go."

May looks shocked. "But - "

"You can cut it out of my afternoon break," New tells May, walking around his desk and standing beside his friend. "I'll be back in just a few minutes."

Then, he turns towards Tay. "Let's go."


	6. Chapter 6

New stared at the bathroom floor, feeling regret wash over him. Why had he agreed to talk to Tay? He knew he wasn't ready. Instincts had just taken over and Tay had looked so...not Tay. He looked tired.

New pulled in his bottom lip, biting lightly as he listened to the loud beat of his heart drumming against his chest. He wondered if Tay could hear it as well. He wiped his hands on his pants before holding them together, hoping he didn't look as nervous as he felt.

"Do you think I should've covered them?" Tay spoke first, filling in the silence of the men's restroom. It was just both of them in the room.

New looks up at him, staring at his sheepish smile before letting his eyes drop down to his painted neck. "Yeah," he answers without taking his gaze off his throat.

Tay doesn't say anything back, only staring at the floor. Tay looked just as nervous as New was, standing stiff and awkward.

That's when New realizes Tay wasn't ready either. Yet Tay still wanted to talk with New about the situation. Instead of avoiding the problem like New wanted, Tay was taking the initiative to talk first because he didn't want this awkward situation to grow. Even when he woke that morning, Tay asked to talk, but New had run away.

New looked off to the side, shutting his eyes. New really hated himself. He shouldn't have run off. If only he had stayed and talked, then this wouldn't be happening.

He now stood there in the middle of the public restroom with Tay who did nothing wrong except let New leave those stupid bruises on his neck. God, New was horrible. He felt guilt rise up his chest, balancing with the already anxious nerves that were there.

"I'm sorry," New decides to apologize. It makes him feel a bit better.

Tay looks up at him, surprised. "What?"

"I'm sorry," New repeated, putting his eyes back on Tay, "I'm sorry for everything. For that night and for running away. I'm sorry for..." he drops his gaze down at Tay's neck, "_that_."

"Hin, no," Tay says, stepping closer and grabbing ahold of New's arm, "it's not your fault."

"It's not yours," New quickly retaliates. He felt himself relax against Tay's touch. It felt good, it felt nice.

"It's neither of ours," Tay says.

New furrows his eyebrows.

"We were drunk," Tay simply explains, letting go of New's arm and standing back with his arms folded, "it happens to the best of us."

New blinks, feeling a bit dumbfounded. "We were drunk," he repeats.

Tay firmly nods. "Yes."

They were drunk. It sounded so simple when he said it. It _was_ that simple. They were just drunk. Tay says it happens to a lot of people.

New's shoulders drop, feeling relief replace all of his nerves immediately. "We were just drunk," he repeats again. And Tay wasn't mad. Their friendship wasn't over. This happens to a lot of people. It was okay. It was that simple.

Tay nods again, but with a smile this time. "Exactly. Just forget about."

It was that simple, but...why did it feel not so simple to New? New frowns, still feeling those exact anxious nerves stay at the pit of his stomach. Just forget about it, New tells himself. Could he?

"Can we go back to being normal now?" Tay asks, pulling New away from his thoughts, "I kind of miss eating with you."

"Me too," New agrees as he looks over at Tay, seeing him smiling happily. He feels his heart flutter at the sight, those same exact nerves building again. What was going on with him?

"Great!" Tay exclaims then, stepping away and heading towards the exit, "I'll see you later this afternoon, then. I'll ask Off if he wants to join."

New only nods, watching Tay beam at him once more before leaving. At least, he didn't look as tired as he did before.

-

"You promised to eat with me today," May says that afternoon while New was packing up his stuff to leave for the day. He doesn't forget to shut his computer down.

"I did?" he asks, not even taking a glance at her direction.

"Yes," she says, sounding just a bit annoyed, "you said so last week."

New stands straight, turning around to finally face his friend. She looked annoyed, like he predicted, and a bit sad. "I already told Tay I'd eat with him though," he tries to explain.

"You can eat with him another day," May argues, crossing her arms, "you always eat with him anyways. It's not like you're going to die if you don't see him today."

She was right.

"Besides, you already told me you would eat with me today last week, so you made plans with me far beforehand," May reasons.

New lines his lips, gripping the hold on his bag. She was right.

"Promises are promises, New."

They stare at each other.

"You even ran away Saturday night," she continues, frowning, "I was hurt when you did that."

New feels guilt rise up in his chest. Just thinking of the memory makes him feel bad for ignoring her feelings. He sighs in defeat before answering, "Okay. Yeah, you're right."

May smiles at his answer.

"I'll just tell Tay I already made plans with you," he says, reaching in his pocket to pull out his phone.

She nods excitedly.

He turns aside, dialing Tay's number into his phone and pushing it against his ear. He doesn't wait long before Tay accepts.

"Hin."

New smiles at the nickname. "Hi."

"Are you done up there?" Tay asks, "I'm just about done too. Off said he can join us today, but not for too long. Something about meeting that guy he's courting."

"Actually," New begins, feeling nervous all of a sudden, "I kind of can't go eat out with you and Off anymore." He glances at May stood beside him, busy scrolling through her own phone.

"What do you mean?"

"I made plans last week to eat with May, but I had forgotten," he explains.

"Oh," Tay says, followed by silence.

"I'm sorry," New apologizes, feeling bad about Tay now. He seemed to not make anyone happy these days. Not even himself.

"Why don't we all just eat together?" Tay suggests after another short beat of silence.

"Together?"

"Yeah! You, Me, Off, and May."

New blinks at the idea. "I guess?"

"Great. Then, I'll see you downstairs," Tay says before hanging up right after. New pulls the phone away from his ear, staring at his black screen in confusion. What just happened?

"So?" May asks, catching his attention.

"Oh," New said, tucking in his phone in his pocket, "Tay suggested we all eat together."

May's eyebrows furrowed, lips turned down into a frown. "What?"

"Yeah. He hung up right after saying to meet downstairs."

"Why do we have to eat together?" May complains, clutching her bag that was by her side. "Don't you two ever get tired of eating together?"

New doesn't answer. He felt like he was being interrogated by his mother if he was being honest. He suddenly didn't feel like eating with May anymore if she was going complain about eating with Tay the whole time.

"I'm sorry, New," she says, having noticed how uncomfortable New must've looked, "I guess I'm just annoyed because I thought we were going to eat together. Alone. And not with Tay."

"Off is coming too," New adds.

May only sighs. "Whatever. Let's just go." She walks past him, heading towards the door.

-

They came to a restaurant by Off's choice and quickly ordered their meals. The group sat at a table next to the window because Off was adamant it was the best spot in the whole place. It was a small Thai restaurant placed in a semi-busy street, New notes as he examined the room. It had many decorations and designs inside that would definitely attract those who liked to take pictures to post online. It definitely worked on May who had asked New to take a picture of her right when they stepped inside.

"Tay still hasn't told me who gave him those hickey's," Off starts, grabbing everyone's attention.

New notices Tay rolling his eyes in front of him. "You're still not over that, Off?" his friend asks.

"No and I will not stop until you tell me who it is!" Off exclaims, putting his arms on the table and leaning forward to rest his body, "I don't understand why you won't just tell me who it is."

"And I already said I don't want to tell you," Tay retaliates.

May chimes in from beside New, "Is it that big of a deal to just tell him who it was?"

Tay stares at her before switching his gaze to New. They look at each other for a long second before New drops his eyes to his fidgeting hands resting on his lap.

"Exactly what I was thinking," Off agrees before switching his attention to New, "Aren't you curious too, New?"

New squirms in his seat, hands clutched together. He looks at Tay once more, staring at his open neck and looking away after. "Not really."

Off squints his eyes at him. "Really?"

New looks at his friend. "Yeah."

"You really don't want to know?" Off asks again, continuing, "Or is it that you already know who it is?"

New stares at Off for a long second, switching his gaze to May beside him who looked just as curious for his answer.

"I - "

"Here is everyone's meal."

Everyone looks up at the waiter in unison. New sighed in relief for the interruption as the male put out everybody's dishes on the table. They all stay silent until the waiter leaves, New quick to pick up his utensils and dig in.

"New, don't eat too quick or you'll choke," May speaks, resting a hand on his arm.

"Hin's always stuffing his face," Tay jokes, earning a glare from New.

"I'm okay," he tells May after.

"Don't worry about him," Off jumps in, mixing in his rice, "He's always quick to finish his food."

"Oh?" May asks, looking at New in worry.

"Tay takes good care of him though," Off adds with a chuckle, looking up at May with a grin as he continues, "these two are like husbands, always taking care of each other."

New watches Tay hit their friend's shoulder. "Shut up, Off! Husbands, my ass!"

"It's true though! You only gave him a nickname and not me!" Off explains with a grin, obviously teasing them.

New smiles, shaking his head as he looks back down at his food. He hears Tay laugh at Off's explanation, promising to think one up for him too.

"You might be right," May suddenly says, silencing the table, "You told New who left those hickey's on you, but not Off."

New looks up at her, staring at the way she was innocently gazing at Tay with a smirk on her lips. He follows her gaze and notices the glare on Tay's own face. That wasn't a good sign.

"New knows?" Off asks, confused.

"Obviously," May says, folding her arms, "that's why he's not curious."

"You do?" Off asks, looking at New.

"Just drop it, Off," Tay answers instead, looking down at his food and playing around with it. Tay was getting angry, New notices.

"It's not that big of a deal to say who it is," May argues.

"May," New says, hoping May would close the topic. This obviously wasn't going to end well if it continued.

"I'm just saying - "

"And I think I have the right to say or not say who did whatever to me," Tay finally snaps, throwing his utensils on his plate and sitting back against his seat.

_Shit_.

"Tay, calm down," New says. Tay was not one to get angry easily, but it seems his tolerance level has been reached and New had to find some way to calm him down.

May shrugs. She seemed to not give up. "If you just said who, this conversation would - "

"May," New tries to warn again, louder this time.

" - already be over," she finishes.

Tay suddenly stands to his feet, knocking his chair down behind him. New immediately follows with the idea of somehow stopping Tay from exploding, but was too late.

"DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND NO!?" Tay yells, glaring at May who still sat confidently in her seat, "Whoever left fucking hickey's on me is my own fucking business and it's in my damn right to not say who gave it!"

"Tay," New says, walking around the table and standing beside him. He wraps a hand around Tay's elbow, tugging to get his attention. "Calm down. We're in a public place."

Tay shakes New's hand off and points it at May in front of him. "And stop bothering Hin! He obviously doesn't fucking like you back, so fuck off. Why else do you think he left you that night at the company dinner!"

"Wha - " May squeaks.

"_Tay_!" New repeats, grabbing Tay's shoulder and twisting him around.

"_What_?" Tay finally looks at him. New drops his hand down to Tay's hand, engulfing it into his own and giving it a squeeze.

"Stop. Not here, okay?" He says softly. New watches the anger in Tay's eyes immediately melt as the two continue to look at each other.

"I...I'm...sorry." Tay speaks after another few seconds, pulling his hand away from New. He turns around and starts to gather his items together.

"Tay," Off speaks up, looking worried. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept asking about the hickey's after you said no."

"No, it's fine," Tay speaks without looking at him. "You guys can finish. I'm just going to go." He starts walking towards the front door.

"Tay, wait!" New quickly gets his items together as well, pulling on his jacket.

"New, where are you going?" May asks, standing to her feet as well.

New pulls out his wallet, hurriedly pulling out a few bills he thinks is enough to pay for both his and Tay's meal. "I'm going after Tay," he explains, ready to leave when he catches Off's gaze.

"Take care of him," his friend says.

New nods.

"Tell Tay I'm sorry as well," Off says, standing to his own feet, "I have other plans, so I can't come with you."

"You should still apologize to him in person," New says.

Off nods. "I will. Thanks."

New gives him a small smile. "Yeah."

"New, what about your meal - " May begins again, grabbing ahold of New.

"I have more important things to take care of," he interrupts, shrugging May's hand off his arm and heading to the front doors of the restaurant. He just hopes Tay hasn't gone too far.

*


	7. Chapter 7

"Tay...Tay...Tay, where the hell are you?" New muttered to himself as he climbed inside his car. After Tay had rushed out of the restaurant, New couldn't locate which direction he had gone in when he followed out. Even after walking around the area, New still didn't catch sight of his friend. He assumed Tay must've caught a cab or bus home or somewhere else.

Pulling out his phone, New tries dialing Tay's number again and waits for his friend to pick up. Like the previous attempts he has made tonight, it goes straight to voicemail.

New lets out a long sigh, resting his head on the headrest behind him and shutting his eyes. He thinks back to what happened at the restaurant, back to Tay's outrage and frowns. This was all his fault.

Those hickey's were from him and Tay was protecting his identity from others. Tay knew New didn't want anybody to know about the night or their situation. New tightened his grip on his phone in frustration, trying to hold back from throwing it aside. If New didn't take the initiative to touch Tay that night, this wouldn't be happening. All the weird feelings New was feeling, the change in their relationship between him and Tay, the situation they were in now - it wouldn't be happening.

New's phone starts vibrating, catching his attention away from his thoughts. He checks the caller ID and immediately answers when he sees that it was Tay. When the call connects, New waits for the usual nickname his friend would say, but it doesn't come.

"Tay," New initiates instead and continues when Tay doesn't answer, "are you okay? What happened? Where did you go? Why didn't you pick up? I've been trying to reach you for over thirty minutes already and looked everywhere for you."

New waited for a response, but silence was given back. "Tay? Hello?"

"Your place," Tay finally speaks in a hushed voice, ignoring the other questions New had bombarded him with.

"My place?" New repeats, looking at the semi-busy traffic behind him from his rearview mirror. It would only take a few minutes to get to his apartment complex from the restaurant Off had chosen. "Are you inside?"

"No."

"Why?" New asks as he turns his car on, feeling the roar of the engine come to life. He fastens his seatbelt before putting his phone on speaker and setting it aside, one hand on the gear while the other was on the wheel. "You already know my passcode, right?"

"Didn't want to come in without permission."

New pulls out and manages to get himself into the traffic with easy pace. "Well, I'm giving it. I always will. You're always welcome to my place, Tay."

"Thanks."

New frowns at how disheartened Tay sounded. Listening to the background noise coming from Tay's line, New assumes he must've been inside now when he hears a click of a door.

"What happened?" New decides to ask after a while, gripping both his hands on the wheel. He watched the red light turn green. "You're not one to explode like that."

Tay loudly sighs into the speaker. "I don't know...I just got tired and annoyed, I guess? They wouldn't just let it go. Like...why does it matter, you know? Who cares."

New hums. "You usually tell Off everything, so I guess he didn't think it was a big deal."

"I guess."

New licks his lips, pondering on his thoughts. "I'm sorry," New apologizes after a few short seconds of silence.

"Why?"

"It's because of me that you even have those bruises," New explains with a sigh, "If I hadn't left them, you wouldn't be in this situation. _We_ wouldn't be in this situation."

"Not entirely," Tay tries to reason, "I didn't cover them. And besides, we already talked about this, New. It happens."

New thins his lips. _It happens to the best of us_. He has to reminds himself. "Yeah. I guess that's true."

They didn't talk after. New drove in silence for a couple of minutes, listening to Tay's breathing and shuffling from the other end. Soon, he was parked outside his apartment complex and promising Tay he'll be up in just a few minutes before they hung up.

New sat still in his seat. He was still thinking about their conversation from earlier that day in the men's restroom. They were drunk, it happens to many people, and it was as simple as that - those excuses seemed to not make New feel much better. He still felt bad, still felt guilty and weird, and he still felt that it wasn't so simple.

Now that New thought about it, Tay always had made New feel weird. All the mushy feelings in his stomach and sometimes the beat of his heart, but seeing Tay with those hickeys and knowing they had sex upped the levels of those feelings. New frowned, looking up at his apartment complex. Things were changing and things already have changed between them since the night, but why does Tay seem to not mind?

Yes, he had looked different today, but New felt like Tay was still fine about this. Maybe Tay was better at hiding his feelings than New was? But Tay was also pretty blunt about what he felt as well, so wouldn't New have known if Tay felt weird? Would Tay bother telling him these things anymore?

New sighed, deciding to think about this another time. He climbed out of his car, making sure to lock it before making his way inside the building and to the elevator. He presses his floor number and counts his way up, feeling weirdly worried. Once at his floor, he slowly walks to his door and proceeds to put in his passcode to enter his home. He clicks the door open after, stepping inside and shutting it behind him as he looks around the dark corridor.

"Tay?" he calls, stepping out of his shoes and putting his car keys on the small table beside him. "Tay, I'm home."

New makes his way to the first room to his left and turns the light on, seeing the kitchen empty. It did look messier than he had left it, so Tay must've scavenged for something to snack on.

"M'here!" Tay calls from the main room.

New shuts the lights off and makes his way to the next doorway that led to the living room.

"Tay," he says once again when he sees his friend sat on the floor against his couch, a can of alcohol in his hand. His gaze drifts to the other cans ready to be drank beside him. He sighs loudly at the sight.

"Welcome home," Tay says with a tilt of his head, a smirk on his lips. New couldn't help himself to stare at his neck again, feeling his heart skip a beat at the sight. He shakes the feeling away.

"You're drinking?" New asks, walking up next to his friend and sitting himself beside him. He grabs a can for himself and opens it.

"Now you are too," Tay says as he clinks his can against New's.

New dips the can into his mouth and takes a long drink, letting the liquid rush down his throat before pulling away. He grunts at the slight burn as he set the can on the carpeted floor. He looks around his living room, noticing that the lights were shut except for the two  
lamps in the corners of the room which brought some sort of lighting for them to actually see. His gaze drifts over to the window with its curtains drawn closed, making the room feel more enclosed. New would usually have it open so he wouldn't feel alone, but it seems Tay did not want any sort of light. He looks over at Tay then, watching him drink down his own beer can in long gulps.

"It's been a long day," New states.

Tay hums in agreement, holding the can in his hand near his lips. "It feels like today has been a whole week."

New chuckles dryly.

"From what happened just the other day and now this," Tay says, staring at the black-screened TV in front of them, "I feel like so much has happened."

New nods, leaning his head back to rest against his couch and watching Tay take another long sip from his beer can. He ponders again. If the other night hadn't happened, they wouldn't be in this situation now - Tay wouldn't have snapped at Off and May, Tay wouldn't be sorrowing away in his apartment, and Tay wouldn't be acting like this.

New sighs, closing his eyes. He still felt the guilt - he just couldn't shake it away. Tay might say it happens to most people, but this was still a pretty big deal for New. He had sex with his best friend, for god's sake. Maybe it was because Tay was a guy, New thought. New has never been in some sort of relationship with a male and never has even touched another guy so intimately as he did with Tay.

"You're not thinking about that night, are you?" his friend speaks up from beside him, startling New from his own thoughts. "Are you?" Tay asks when New didn't answer.

New stares at him, wondering if he should just lie or tell Tay the truth. Lying would close to topic, but being honest will allow them to speak over it again. It could help him resolve the issues and worries in his mind. Before New could decide, Tay was already speaking.

“I already said to forget about it, Hin. We were just drunk."

New frowns at the sentence.

"It's not that big of a deal, to be honest," Tay continued, finishing his beer can and throwing it aside as he reaches for another. "I mean, didn't we already agree it was just another thing that happens to the best of people?"

"It may not be a big deal for you," New starts, sitting up properly and twisting his body to face Tay, "but it is for me. I can't stop thinking about it, Tay. Yeah, we were drunk and yes, it happens to a lot of people, but doesn't mean it's normal for me. I literally had sex with my best friend, Tay. That changes everything between us. You say it's as simple as those reasons, but it doesn't feel so simple to me."

Tay looks surprised, eyebrows raised. He probably wasn't expecting New to say anything back.

New sighs, feeling just a bit frustrated as he looks at the floor instead of at Tay. "I don't know - I just...you said you did it with men before that night, so maybe this is normal and whatever for you, but this was my first time with a guy, Tay."

Tay still doesn't say anything, making New feel nervous.

"I don't know how to feel, to be honest," New continues, picking on little strands of his carpet so his hands had something to do, "I just feel bad because I fucked everything up between us."

"You didn't," Tay finally speaks.

"Yes, I did," New pushes, eyes going back to meet Tay's own, "I shouldn't have started it. You wouldn't be here moping over those stupid hickeys on your neck if I had just kept my hands to myself."

New watches the way Tay thins his lips, the way his friend was staring at him as if he was pondering over what to say. It made New worry over whatever it was.

"Do you want me to be honest, New?" Tay asks after a while.

New hesitantly nods.

"I don't regret it."

New stares at Tay before confusion takes over his features. "What do you mean?"

Tay sighs, his shoulders dropping and his eyes drifting away. He takes a long drink from his can of alcohol before setting it aside as he turned his body to fully face New. Tay looked him dead in the eyes and explained, "I mean, I didn't hate what happened."

New blinks at his friend. He didn't hate what happened.

"In fact, I kind of enjoyed it," Tay continues, not dropping his gaze. "I didn't think of it as a big deal because of that reason."

New opened his mouth to say something back, but nothing came out. His mind was circling now, his hands sweating and his heart was beating loudly against his chest. Tay enjoyed it.

"I'm sorry that I made you feel guilty about the situation," Tay apologizes, "and I'm sorry for saying it's not a big deal without considering your feelings."

New frantically shakes his head. "It isn't your fault," he manages to say out loud.

Tay smiles at him warmly, finally looking just a little bit like himself again. New missed that look.

"Also, I wouldn't mind if it ever happened again."

New's eyes widen at the blunt confession.

Tay shrugs nonchalantly, leaning into the white couch. "If it ever _did_ happen again, I mean."

New forces his gaze away, feeling his cheeks burn. "Why would it happen again?" he asks, reaching for his can of beer when he caught sight of it. He takes a long sip, knowing he was going to regret this tomorrow morning. He shouldn't be drinking and he shouldn't be allowing Tay to drink as well.

"Well, my reasons still stand," Tay explains once New set his can aside and looked his way, grabbing a hold of New’s hand and fitting it into his own, "it gets you to de-stress and it feels good."

New stared at Tay's eyes as Tay squeezed his hand. He couldn't help but look down at Tay’s lips either, feeling a little riled up. He notices Tay look down at his own as well, causing him to lick his lips before asking, "So, you don't find it any way weird if it was me?"

"No," Tay immediately answers, "it's because we're best friends that I find it normal."

New frowns at the reason. Then why did he find it so weird? He shouldn't be so worried over it if Tay wasn't worrying about it.

"So?" Tay asks, catching New's attention back to him. "What's your decision?"

"On?"

Tay smiles. New watches him lean his head closer towards him, tilting it a tad bit and gazing down at New's lips again which made New's heart skip a few beats. "Doing it again with me."

New swallows his nerves, gripping Tay’s hand tighter in his hand. “You make me feel things," New confesses without thought. What the hell was he suddenly saying?

Tay didn't seem to mind though. In fact, he was grinning. "You make me feel things too." Tay let go of New’s hand, instead letting it run up his arm to rest on his biceps.

New bit his bottom lip, eyeing Tay's lips again and wanting to just lean over to feel them on his. "W-what kind of things?" New asks nervously.

Tay raises an eyebrow. "Are we going to be talking dirty?"

New almost choked at the question, eyes wide. "Sorry," he says, getting ready to lean away, but paused his planned action when he felt Tay's hand make its way up to hold the back of his neck. New felt goosebumps rise all over his body at the touch, making his hairs stand when Tay's fingers started playing with the baby hairs there.

"Why don't you find out, then?" Tay asks in a hushed voice, leaning even closer.

New could feel Tay's breath on his lips now, making the urge to kiss him harder to deny. "You're drunk," New tries to reason.

"I'm not a lightweight like you, Hin."

New stared at Tay's eyes, dark brown and hooded like it was that night before. New's eyes drop down to his lips again for the nth time tonight.

It would be wrong, he thinks. Doing this will start this whole mess up again, but why was it so hard to deny? Tay wanted it and New did too, so why was he holding himself back? Why was he always worrying over everything and why couldn't he just let go, enjoy himself and the moment?

New shut his eyes in answer, hoping Tay would understand. To his luck, he did. He felt the touch of Tay's lips rest on his softly before they slowly starting moving against each other, falling into an easy, slow rhythm.

It felt good just like before and possibly even better. Tay's lips just felt perfect against his own as they moved against each other, his hands felt like lightening running through his hair and shoulders as he shivered from each tug and touch, and his quiet moans felt like everything New could've ever wanted to hear and more.

They kiss for what seemed like a few seconds but was probably way longer before pulling away to take a breath. Tay immediately rested his forehead on New's as they stared at each other, watching each other suck in air.

"So, what do you say?" Tay asks after a whole, "Do you want to?"

New feels his heart skip a beat, feels the weird knot in his stomach tighten, feels all of the overwhelming emotions in his body scream at him to say yes. So, he does.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry if it isn’t written well or inaccurately!

New was sat straddled on Tay's lap as his hands feverishly ran through Tay's hair, tugging at the ends as the older kissed up his throat with loud smacks. 

He tilted his head further back while Tay sucked on the skin under his jaw like candy, enjoying the touch of Tay's hot tongue on his flesh. New vocalized his pleasure loudly and pressed Tay's face deeper to the crook of his neck as Tay's hands roamed up his spine and down before settling on his hips. Not long after, New dipped his head down to capture Tay's lips onto his own once more as their tongues fought for dominance. 

After a while, New pulled away to catch some air. Opening his eyes to take a glance at Tay's face below him, he almost lost his breath at the sight of his friend: 

Tay's hair was disheveled from the number of times New ran his fingers through it, his lips were swollen from the amount of kissing they had done, and his eyes were dazed in the dim light of the living room as he looked back at New with a tilt of his head. He looked absolutely stunning. This was not a surprising thought nor a discovery, however - it was purely a fact that New has already known.

New cupped Tay's cheeks, grazing his thumbs across his soft skin and staring at his face as he appreciated his beauty. "You're so pretty, Tay," he tells him in a whisper, looking at him sincerely and feeling the warmth of the moment spread throughout his body. 

Tay first looked shocked at the compliment, but quickly hid it with a smirk. New felt Tay's hands squeeze his hips before one hand slid its way up towards the back of his neck and pull him in for another long kiss, this time slow and still so sensual. 

"Touch me," Tay says after a few minutes, pulling away as their foreheads rested against each other. 

New did as told, his hand sliding down Tay's chest and pressing against Tay's clothed member. He squeezed the shape through the material of his pants, wondering how it would feel without. He hears Tay suck in a breath from the touch, dropping his head on New's shoulder to rest on. 

New smiles at the reaction and presses his hand against it again, palming Tay's hard on with pressure a few more times as another grunt came out from Tay's throat. 

"Hin," Tay sighs into New's ear after a few minutes, causing shivers to run down New's spine and his hairs to stand as all his blood in him ran down to between his own legs. His stomach also does a summersault in between, bringing back the weird, uneasy feeling he's felt around Tay since recently. 

New couldn't think more about it, however, as he was pushed off Tay's lap and down onto the carpeted floor as the older crawled on top of him. Their lips were back together, hurriedly moving against each other as tongues danced around in unison with Tay holding the back of his neck with one hand. New held onto Tay's shoulders, keeping him close. 

They kiss for a long time before pulling away again. This time Tay speaks in a hushed tone, "Where do you keep your condoms?" 

It took a second for the question to register in New's dazed mind and another second to think about the answer, only feeling disappointed when he remembers that he didn't have any. New also felt his cheeks burn when he realizes, shifting his gaze away from Tay's questioning eyes. 

"What's wrong?" Tay asks, tilting his head to catch New's eyes. 

New squeezes the material of Tay's shirt in his hands. He felt embarrassed and it wasn't because of their current position. It might seem weird if he said he didn't have condoms, but he couldn't blame him. He was just so busy and never had anybody to use it with.

"Hin, whats wrong?" Tay asks again, one hand busy running through New's hair and pushing the few strands away from his face. 

Unfortunately, he had to say it. "I don't..." New started, trailing off as he felt his face heat hotter. 

"Don't what?" Tay asked in the softest tone as he leaned down and pressed a light kiss under his jaw. 

"Don't have...condoms," New finishes the sentence with a mumble, sliding his hands off Tay's shoulders and holding them close to his chest as Tay paused mid-kiss on his cheek. 

It was silent for a short second before Tay suddenly started laughing. New frowned, watching Tay sit up from his position and move off his lap as he continued howling. 

"Don't laugh!" New retorts lamely as he sat up as well, "Tay!" 

Tay brought his hands up in surrender after he finished, a grin still on his face as he looked back at New. "Sorry," he said, trying not to break down into another laughing fit, "I won't, I won't, I promise." 

New pouted his lips in response, scooting his body close to the white couch and sitting with his back against it. 

"It's just," Tay begins, amusement clear in his voice as he crawled beside New and sat next to him, "I didn't expect that answer." 

New frowns, knowing he ruined the moment. Now they couldn't do anything. "Sorry," he says in a mumble. 

"Don't apologize," Tay says, suddenly serious as he lifts his leg and climbs himself onto New's lap, letting both of his hands hold New's neck, "It isn't your fault." 

"I ruined the mood," New points out with dismay, shoulders slumping in disappointment.

"C'mon, don't be so mean to yourself. You didn't." Tay played with the baby hairs behind New's neck, tugging at them lightly. "You didn't," Tay repeated, then adding, "look." Tay grabs one of New's hands and leads them down to his crotch, letting him feel his still hard member. 

New blushes at the action, looking at Tay in surprise with wide eyes. 

"You still have me feeling this way," Tay continued, deepening his voice and leaning down to leave a quick kiss on New's lips. After pulling away, Tay finishes, "We can still have fun." 

New doesn't reply, only looking at Tay for another second before pulling him in for a second kiss. Tay responds immediately. After a short moment, Tay pulls away to kiss his cheek, followed down to his jaw, and then trailed lower to his neck. 

New shuts his eyes, letting out a breathy sigh as he relished the feeling of Tay's soft kisses on him. It reminded him of the night when they were drunk, except New was sat straddled on Tay's lap and kissing up Tay's neck then. 

A hand still on Tay's crotch, New quickly makes work of unbuttoning Tay's pants and pulling them down with a bit of a struggle. He wanted Tay to feel good too.

Tay leans away from New then, watching New pull his briefs down just enough so Tay's cock could spring out. New stares at Tay's hard member for a hot minute before spitting onto the palm of his hand and gripping it in his hand. 

"You don't even have lube?" Tay asks, watching New slowly start pumping him, gradually picking up speed as he got used to an easy rhythm.

New shakes his head. 

"Do you not masturbate, Hin?" Tay asks, followed with a silent groan. 

New shakes his head once more and instead says, "Me too. Jerk me off too." 

Tay laughs before moving to undo New's pants, pulling them down along with New's briefs. 

The cold air hits New's dick, making New cringe at the feeling, but ignores it when he knows Tay would be gripping it soon enough. Biting down on his bottom lip, New watches Tay spit on his own palm before grabbing New's member, squeezing it in his hand. "That's hot," New accidentally says out loud.

Tay smiles at him with a quirk of an eyebrow. Focusing back to New's member gripped in his hand, Tay starts pumping it as he tried to match New's tempo on his. Their hands worked alongside each other in a quick pace, leaving the other to let out a few grunts and sighs when the other pulls just right. 

"Tay, kiss," New orders after awhile. 

Tay complies immediately, leaning forward and pressing his lips against New's own as they immediately moved in unison. They didn't stop their hand movements, trying to make the other feel good as they continued kissing. It was only a matter of seconds before they pulled away for air. 

New watched Tay let go of his member then, spitting on his hand once more before taking both of their cocks in one. New's breath hitches at the touch of Tay's cock on his, creating a different kind of friction he hadn't felt. He watches Tay rub and squeeze them against one another, making him feel a weird kind of pleasure that tightened his core. Tay then starts pumping their hard members, still held together which makes New let out an embarrassing moan. 

Suddenly, Tay leans forward to capture New's lips again, licking inside his mouth and letting out a muffled groan. New kisses him back with force, both of his hands around Tay's neck, hands in his hair as he tried to pull Tay and his body closer. 

"Tay," New whimpers between their open-mouthed kisses, feeling Tay's hand quicken its pace. 

"Hin," Tay whispered back, filling New's body with an overwhelming amount of butterflies and summersaults. He felt his heart drum against his chest as a knot formed around his abdomen, making him feel on edge.

"Again," he told Tay, "say it again." 

"Hin," Tay repeated, louder this time and then again, "Hin, Hin, Hin, New." 

The butterflies and summersaults, the beat of his heart, the knot in his stomach, and the overwhelming feelings of pleasure suddenly doubled and all New could see was a flash of white, mouth open, his voice stuck in his throat as he buckled his hips, feeling his body shudder as he came while Tay pumped him through it. He let out a small whimper after, "Tay." 

"Me too," Tay said. 

New immediately grabbed Tay's hand that held their members and continued to pump them as Tay let himself out with a shudder of his own, letting out a long sigh. Once he came down from his high, New pulled Tay in for another kiss, except it was lazy and light as they were both a bit exhausted. 

When they separated, they stared at each other for a few seconds before New broke the silence with a small giggle. 

"What?" Tay asked, voice low. 

New shook his head. "Just...I can't believe we did that." 

Tay shrugged, letting his head fall onto New's shoulder and letting it rest there. "Did you enjoy it?"

New hummed.

"Too bad we couldn't have sex," Tay points out, before adding, "You really need to stock up on some condoms after today, Hin."

"Are you implying this will happen again?"

Tay lifts his head, eyebrows knitted together. "Won't it?"

New didn't answer, only looking at Tay's brown eyes in wonder. It wouldn't hurt anyone and as Tay said, it felt good. "No," New responds after some thought, "it will."

Tay smiles at him. "Great," he cheers, leaning his head forward and kissing New fon the lips once again. 

New could get used to this. 


	9. Chapter 9

New shifted in his bed, slowly waking from his slumber as the familiar sound of his alarm rang out loud. In an attempt to keep the sleep in his eyes, he shut them tight and pushed his face further into his pillow whilst letting out a muffled groan, sinking himself deeper into his bed. He continued listening to the annoying jingle of his alarm, wishing morning had not come just yet. After a few ticking seconds, New finally lifted his face and peeled his eyes open to the dim light of his bedroom. He liked keeping his curtains closed. 

New sat up lazily, grabbing his phone from the bedside table and shutting the blaring sound off. Checking the time, New notes he only had about half an hour until he had to start heading to work. 

New closed his eyes, letting himself fall back onto his bed. He thought maybe he could sneak in another few minutes of sleep when he notices a noise coming from another room. New's eyes fling open, eyebrows furrowed as he listens intently. 

It sounded like water. 

Sitting up on his bed once again, New eyed his bathroom door. Was that the shower? Before he could answer his own question, he hears the noise stop. Was someone in his apartment? New's eyes drop to his lap, staring at his naked thighs (he usually sleeps in only his briefs) in thought.

New's eyes widen, suddenly remembering everything that had happened last night. 

The door of the bathroom door pushes open then, catching New's attention as he watches Tay steps out with a towel hung around his waist. His eyes grazed down Tay's hickey-filled neck, bare chest, and grated abdomen. New swallowed, suddenly feeling thirsty. 

"Oh, Hin!" Tay says when he notices New sat on his bed, "You're awake!" 

New nods, feeling heat rise to his cheeks. He shifts his gaze away from Tay to keep his line of sight away from Tay's naked body, questioning his reaction. He's never felt bothered whenever Tay was shirtless before, so why now? "Y-yeah. You showered?" he stuttered. 

New cursed at himself once the question left his lips. Why would he ask that? Of course Tay showered. 

Tay chuckles. "Yeah. I also used some of your hair gel, so I hope you don't mind." 

"I don't," New says, then adds, "mind." 

"Oh, hey!" Tay exclaims, changing the subject as he walks towards New's bed and sits beside him, "Do you have any extra clothes I could wear to work? I don't think I have enough time to catch a cab home to change." 

"Yeah, of course," New responds, jumping to his feet and making his way to his drawer as the opportunity offered something to do without awkwardly sitting on his bed. 

"Thanks, Hin," New hears Tay say behind him. 

Pulling open his drawer, New shuffles through his clothes before picking out a dark red button-up and black dress pants. He remembers that Tay looked especially attractive in red.

New twists around, seeing Tay checking his hair with the use of his phone. "Do you want a jacket?" New asks him. 

"Just a shirt is good," Tay answers, standing to his feet once he was done adjusting his hair. He grabs the folded clothes New held out to him and repeats, "Thanks, Hin." 

"It's not the first time you borrowed my clothes," New pointed out with a shrug, turning back around and picking out his own outfit for the day. He goes with a simple white button-up and light pair of jeans which he could change into after taking a brisk shower. 

"Yeah, but, " Tay speaks, suddenly going quiet and then continuing, "...it feels different." 

New turns around again, facing Tay as he cocks his head to the side. "What do you mean?" 

Tay shrugs. "I don't know. Just...after yesterday, I feel more...close, I guess. Intimate." 

New hums. It did feel somewhat different and a little awkward, proof with the exchange before. It was weird to think they did what they had done last night. Best friends don't usually give each other handjobs. Hell, he would hate to imagine doing that with Off. New cringes at the idea immediately, shaking the idea out of his head. 

"But we're still us, right?" Tay asks, directing a worried smile towards New. "Best friends?"

New mirrors one back, nodding his head. "Of course. Nothing would change that." 

The response seems to make Tay feel better, New notices. Tay's shoulders drop slightly and his confident eyes come back, grinning at New happily. 

New excuses himself to go shower then, grabbing his pile of clothes and shutting the door behind him. He cleans himself quickly, drying himself after with pace and pulling on his outfit. He brushes his teeth, noticing a new toothbrush in his mug. Tay must've taken a new one out, he concludes. He decides to leave his hair down, parting it in the middle before exiting the bathroom. 

"Tay, what time is it?" he asks, noticing Tay sat on his bed, fully dressed now as he typed on his phone. New tries to muster the smile that comes to his face when he sees Tay in his clothes, feeling a little happy at the sight. He was right, Tay looked especially attractive in red. 

"Six, twenty-three," Tay answers, shutting his phone and holding it in his hand, "what's for breakfast? I'm starving." 

New hums, grabbing his bag and his phone from the top of his drawer. They had just a few minutes to grab a quick meal from the convenience store close to GMM which he would regularly stop by. 

"Sandwiches," he answers, looking at Tay and jerking his head to the door of the bedroom, "let's go or we'll be late." 

Tay nods as he stands to his feet, not forgetting to stuff his phone in the pocket of his pants as he walks up towards New.

"What?" New asks once Tay was in front of him. 

Tay smiles, staring at him. 

"What?" New repeats, a hand reaching up to hold his cheek. "Is there something on my face?" 

Tay shakes his head. "You look cute is all," Tay explains, reaching a hand out to touch New's bangs softly. 

New blushes at the action, stomach swirling with the usual unusual feeling of butterflies and summersaults. 

Tay pulls away then, taking a step back. "Let's go before we're late," he copies before turning away and walking out of New's bedroom. 

New blinks, face hot as he rests a hand on his drumming chest. Fuck. 

-

"New," a familiar voice called that evening while New was gathering his things together to leave for the day. He was planning to grab some dinner with Tay and Off tonight before heading home.

New turns around, noticing May walking up to him. 

"Oh, May," he acknowledges before twisting back around, "what's up?" 

"I wanted to tell you something," he hears May speak from behind him. She sounded shy and nervous, peaking New's interest. 

"Of course," New says, looking back at her with his full attention. 

"About last night," May starts after a few seconds of hesitation, "...I'm sorry. At the restaurant, I was pushing Tawan and kept pressuring him to speak about his personal life. Even when he told me to stop, I kept going." 

New lines his lips tightly, taking a deep breath in through his nose and leaning back against his chair. Folding his arms against his chest, he tells her, "I don't think I'm the one you should be apologizing to, May."

"I know," May says sadly, eyes dropping to the floor, "I don't exactly know how to approach Tawan. He might still be mad at me too." 

New watches her, noticing her intertwined hands that were squeezing each other. She looked nervous and she did sound like she regret what she had done, making New feel some pity. "I'll tell him you apologized," New says after awhile, "and that you want to do it in person, as well." 

New notices the quiet sigh of relief escape May's lips before she replied, "Thank you." 

"No problem!" New smiles at her before twisting back around and turning his computer off. Once he was sure everything was clean and tidy, New grabbed his bag and let it rest on his shoulder as he looked down at May who still stood by his desk. "Was that all?" he asks. 

"Actually...there was also the thing he said yesterday," May started before trailing off at the end. 

When May doesn't continue, New asks, "What is it?" 

May shakes her head after another few moments of silence. "No, it's nothing. That's all. Thank you for listening." 

New smiles at her. " It's fine, thanks for apologizing."

She hums, nodding her head. "Are you heading home?" 

"Yeah. Are you?" 

"Yeah, wait for me and we can leave together?" May asks as she takes a few steps backwards towards her office. 

New nods and May grins back at him, fully turning around after as she rushes to get her items.

—

Once he had separated from May, New had got into his car and drove to the restaurant he, Tay and Off promised to meet at. When he arrived, he was happy to see his friends getting along in the back corner of the room. 

"You guys made up?" New asks with tease as he sits himself in the chair next to Off. He looks around the table filled with food, already drooling with hunger. 

"We weren't fighting in the first place," Tay responds from in front of them as New hung his bag on his chair. 

"Tay and I never fight," Off adds in with amusement, "we've been friends for so long and we've never been in a quarrel. Unlike you, Hin." 

Before New could answer, Tay had lightly cut in, "Hey, that's my thing! Make your own nickname!" 

"Sorry, sorry! I forgot I can't use the husband's nickname for his lover," Off jokes followed by a laugh.

"Shut up," Tay and New respond at the same time. New nudges Off with his elbow. 

"Oui, Off," Tay says, changing the subject as New grabs his spoon and fork to dig in, "how's your crush?" 

"Gun?" Off says after taking a bite of his meal. 

Tay hums, munching away on his own food. New looks at Off as he answers.

"Good. We're still talking, but we both know we like each other." 

"If you know you like each other, why not just date?" New asks. 

"Well, it's not that easy," Off explains with a shrug, "I mean, we started off as two dudes who only had sex with each other. We didn't think we would start liking each other." 

"Oh?" New said, raising an eyebrow towards his friend, "I didn't know that." 

Off shrugs, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "Yeah. I just worry if I really like him or if it's just the sex that makes me think that." 

"Does he think the same way?" New asks. 

Off nods, adding, "I just don't want to start a relationship if we're both going to waste our time." 

"In my opinion," Tay speaks up, "I think you really do like him. You've been worrying about this situation for a few weeks now and you've been talking about this guy since you met him last year." 

"Maybe," Off answers, a sad frown on his lips. 

"I think you should do whatever your heart wants," New says, sharing his own opinion, "don't overthink too much." 

"I didn't know you were sappy," Off teases, pushing New's shoulder with his own as he changes the mood. Off was good with that, something New was a little jealous of. 

"I'm not," New replies with a smile, rolling his eyes. He goes back to stuffing his face with spoonfuls of food. 

"Anyways," Off says, changing the subject, "have you heard, New?" 

New blinks up at him, asking him to answer the question because his mouth was full. 

"Tay had a bit of fun last night," Off says, giving Tay a wink across from them. 

New chokes on his food, followed by Tay in front of him. Reaching for his cup of water, New takes two large gulps as he tries to calm down. 

"Oh, he hasn't told you?" Off asks, confused. 

"Off!" Tay hisses. 

New feels his cheeks heat up. Was it about him? It had to be about him. Tay was at his house after all. 

"Oh? I wasn't supposed to say?" Off questions, "You usually don't mind...sorry, New. Forget what I said." 

New meekly nods.


	10. Chapter 10

"That was such a good dinner!" New moaned happily as he stepped into his apartment complex with Tay following behind him, "I'm so full now!"

"You ate too much, Hin," Tay comments jokingly, closing the door after them.

New twists his head around to give his friend a glare before leaning down to take his shoes off. Once his feet were free, he makes his way to the living room and plops himself face first down on the couch, groaning out loud. "I'm so tired!"

Tay walked in after him, sitting down in an spot that New wasn't taking up with his body. "Did you move around a lot at work today?" he asks, leaning back into the couch with a sigh.

"No," New answers, twisting his body around to look up at Tay as the top of his head pressed against Tay's thigh.

His friend snorts as he gazed down at him. "Then why are you so tired?"

New pouts. "Sitting down in front of a computer all day is tiring, Tay."

Tay hums, a hand reaching out to play with New's hair. New closes his eyes at the touch, feeling Tay's fingers run through his strands, and his body immediately relaxes at the touch, wanting nothing more but to sleep right then.

"Hey Tay," he says out loud after a few minutes, filling in the silence of the room.

"What?"

"May said she's sorry." Tay's fingers stop the second New finished his sentence, immediately pulling away. Confused of the reaction, New opens his eyes and looks up to a frowning Tay. Worried, he asks him, "What's wrong?"

"She should apologize to me,"Tay says, his frown switching to a scowl, "not to you."

New sits up from his position, turning his body around to face his friend and resting a hand on his shoulder. He repeats what May had told him, "She didn't know how to."

Tay throws New a bewildered look, eyebrows knitted. "What do you mean she didn't know how to? All she had to do was come up to my floor and find me."

New almost flinches at Tay's rising voice, but instead squeezes his friend's shoulder in hopes of calming him down. He tries, "She doesn't know you well enough to go up - "

"She's a fucking adult, she shouldn't be giving bullshit excuses to not apologize directly," Tay interrupts loudly, then quietly muttering, "Besides, I don't even think she's _actually_ sorry."

New frowns at that, letting the hand that was once on Tay's shoulder drop down to his lap. He didn't want to argue with Tay, but he also didn't want Tay to speak such harsh accusations of May when she might actually be sorry.

"Maybe she's nervous," New suggests after a short silence.

Tay rolls his eyes, looking at New and explaining, "She's only apologizing to you because she likes you, Hin. Besides if she was actually sorry, she would've come to me in the first place."

New takes a deep breath, trying not to make this a stupid argument. "Okay, maybe she isn't actually sorry," New starts as Tay nods along, "but what if she was genuine? What if she was actually scared to go and apologize - "

"Bullshit," Tay cuts in, glaring at New now, "she's lyin - "

"You were terrifying that night, Tay!" New interrupts back, "Off was even muddled by how angry you got - "

"THEN THEY SHOULDN'T BE FUCKING ASKING ME PERSONAL QUESTIONS THAT I ALREADY REFUSED TO ANSWER!" Tay shouted back angrily, standing up from his seat and looking down at New, hands moving in the air erratically as he continued, "It isn't their business who I spent a night out with and besides, you don't want them to know it's you!"

New stares up at Tay with wide eyes, surprised by the outburst. Feeling bile rise up to his throat and his eyes start to moisten, New looks away to the side to hide his face. He grips the side of the couch tightly, feeling his anxious nerves bubbling inside him at the mere thought of Off or May knowing about that night. New nods his head in acknowledgement because his friend was absolutely right, New wouldn't want anyone to know what happened.

New hears Tay sigh beside him before plopping back down on the couch. Biting back his emotions, New lets his eyes drift to Tay's hands which grabs New's from his lap, holding them. They sit there like that for a few minutes, Tay squeezing and rubbing small circles onto the back of New's hands as New internally calmed his emotions.

"I'm sorry," Tay apologizes softly, breaking the tense silence with a hush and calm voice, "I didn't mean to yell at you."

New licks his lips. He doesn't look up to make eye contact with Tay, but still answers, "Don't apologize. You're right, they shouldn't have asked you those questions...May should've apologized to you directly."

Tay hums, squeezing New's hands. "But I still shouldn't have yelled at you," he pushes and then adds, "see, you aren't even looking at me."

New stiffens at the blunt observation, quickly directing his eyes up to meet Tay's pretty, brown ones. They were looking back at him softly, apologetic. "I am," New tell him.

Tay snorts, a small smile growing on his lips which makes New relax immediately and the tense atmosphere slightly disappears. "Only because I said you weren't."

New smiles back before looking down at their hands again, watching Tay's thumb rub small circles. "If it makes you feel any better, I told her the same thing," New confesses and when Tay hums in question, New explains, "that she should apologize to you directly."

"Good," Tay answers, squeezing New's hands again. New watches Tay lift New's hands and bring it up to his lips, leaving a light kiss in between both. New blushes at the action immediately, feeling his heart pause for a small second.

"What was that for?" he asks when Tay opens his eyes to look at him.

His friend only shrugs. "Just wanted to kiss it."

New looks down at the hands Tay still held close to his mouth, feeling his stomach swirl before looking back up to Tay's face. He examines him from forehead down to his chin, wondering why Tay was suddenly acting like this. They didn't drink while they were eating were they?

"Staring at me like that," Tay starts, a cheeky grin now on his lips, "do you want more, Hin?"

New blushes harder at the question, his heartbeat quickening at the suggestion. He takes his hands away from Tay's grip and hits his friend in the chest instead. "Shut up, I don't!"

Suddenly, Tay grabs New's hands and pulls him forward, forcing New's body to lunge on top of Tay's. Surprised by the sudden action, New stares down at Tay with wide eyes as the older only grins at him, wrapping his hands around New's waist and holding him close.

"Don't do that!" New nags instantly, resting his arms on Tay's chest and holding onto his shoulders, "what if one of us got hurt?"

"But we aren't," Tay childishly retaliated to which New rolled his eyes to.

They laid there like that for a few moments, New staring into Tay's brown eyes, appreciating how pretty they were before looking down his perfect nose to his plump lips. When he looked back up to his eyes, he notices Tay looking down at his mouth almost in a daze.

Instinctively, New licks his lips, feeling shy under Tay's gaze. "Tay?" he asks.

"Can I kiss you?"

New blinks at Tay in surprise, his heart beginning to strum in his chest. "K-kiss me?" he stutters back as his mind swirls in panic, wondering why Tay would ask to suddenly kiss him.

New feels one of Tay's hands move from his waist up his back, following the curve of his neck and resting on his nape, tickling his baby hairs with his fingers. New feels them raise at the touch as he stared down at Tay's dazed eyes that haven't looked away from his lips.

"Why are you suddenly asking me to kiss you?" New questions.

"Can I?" Tay asks again, lifting his head slightly off the couch. New feels Tay pull on his head as if he was pleading him to lean down to close the distance between them.

New's heart jumps at the action, hands tight on his friend's shoulder as his stomach pooled with its usual butterflies. "Tay," New tries to warn again with a shaky voice, although he meant it more for himself.

"Kiss me," Tay says, pulling New down even more so their eyes couldn't meet. New shuts his eyes, feeling Tay's slow breathes fan his lips.

New's heart hammered again his chest as his mind swirled, sweaty hands gripping Tay's shoulders for some type of control. "We can't," he tells him, voice shaky.

"Hin."

New feels himself be pulled down the rest of the way, closing the the already short distance between them as their lips lock into a soft kiss. New feels his stomach drop the minute they touch, heart stopping for longer than a second and he immediately pulls away for a breathe. Feeling overwhelmed, he pushes himself off Tay and scoots himself to the other end of the couch.

"Hin? What's wrong?" Tay asks immediately in worry as he sits up as well.

New doesn't make eye contact with his friend, instead choosing to stare down at the floor as his fingers rest on his lips. His heart felt like it was going to burst open the second their lips touched. It wouldn't be the first time they've kissed, so what was going on with him today?

"Hin?"

"Sorry," New spoke, finally making eye contact with Tay, "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" Tay asks, reaching out and grabbing New's free hand that laid still on his lap. "Don't apologize. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you."

New nods his head, still feeling just a bit shaky. His mind was still going in circles, trying to figure out why he was feeling so..._much_.

"Hin," Tay spoke again, "do you remember what Off was saying earlier today?"

New shook his head. He doesn't even remember what they ate at the moment. His head was still buzzing with what just happened.

"About him and Gun," Tay continued and when New doesn't say anything back, he finishes, "and how they were fuck buddies."

New furrows his eyebrows. Why would Tay bring up Off and Gun at this moment? New had just panicked a little by their small kiss and now, Off's situation comes up? Just as the question appeared in his head, it clicked. Eyes widening, New stares at Tay in disbelief. Did he want them to be fuck buddies?

"Listen," Tay starts, noticing New's surprise, "we both agreed to having sex again, right?"

New swallows, heart beginning to quicken once again. He nods curtly.

"Why not just have sex whenever we want?" Tay suggests, dropping New's hand and leaning back against the couch comfortably, "whenever you're stressed or horny, I can help you out and vice versa."

New looked away in thought. They did agree to do it again, but..."But why me?" New asks him, meeting Tay's eyes once again.

"Would you do it with anyone else?" Tay asks, cocking an eyebrow at him, "The night, you didn't want to talk to anyone. You even ran away when you and May almost kissed."

New bit his bottom lip, stopping himself from cringing at the memory. "Okay, fine. But what about you? Why are you doing this?"

"I don't know," Tay answers with a shrug, "because it feels good? Because you're my best friend and it won't be awkward?"

"But what if this doesn't work out? What if it ruins us?"

"How do you know when you haven't tried it?" Tay questions back, "We might get closer than we are now too."

New's eyes falter, looking down at his thighs. There were too many what ifs to go through.

"Look," Tay says as he sits back up, "just think over it. Ask yourself how it feels being intimate with me and how it affects you. If you're comfortable with me and if it makes you feel good and less stressed, I would say, why not? Of course, that's just my opinion."

New doesn't answer, only meekly nodding in Tay's direction.

"I'm gonna go home now, Hin," Tay says, standing up to his feet, "think about it, okay? When you're ready to talk, call me."

"Goodnight," New says as he watches Tay leave the living room. Once Tay was gone and the sound of the door shutting was heard, New lets himself fall back down on his couch, sighing out loud tiredly.

Closing his eyes, New thinks back to their small, but quick argument, to their small kiss that left New confused, and then to Tay's suggestion before groaning out loud in frustration. He sits up from his couch, too emotionally drained to think anymore and goes to take a shower.


	11. Chapter 11

New laid awake in his bed the next morning, staring up at his bedroom ceiling in a daze. He was thinking about what Tay has said the night before, trying to wrap his head around the idea of Tay and him becoming friends with benefits.

It was a weird thought. He knew that they had been acting a little different towards each other after that night, but he never thought of labeling it or that it would become something more definite. He felt safe when it wasn't addressed and that it was something that was just happening naturally. Maybe he thought their relationship was developing a lot more intimately or he hoped it had.

New rolls his eyes at himself, feeling frustrated. He wished he was sleeping, avoiding all his issues and decisions like he does even when he's awake.

Suddenly, his phone buzzes by his head and New blindly searches for it with his hand. Grabbing it from under his pillow, New squints at his screen and sees it was a message from May.

_Are you free after work today?_

New stares at her text with a frown, remembering how he and Tay had an argument over her last night. Before he could reply to her text, however, his phone starts ringing in his hands.

"Hello?" he greets, shifting to his side and setting the phone on his ear.

"Hey New, good morning," May cheerfully greets back. She sounded way too be happy this early in the morning and New wondered where he could get the same energy.

In his usual tired tone, he spoke, "I was just about to respond to your text."

"Yeah, I saw you read it, so I decided to call or I knew you would’ve ignored me"

New licks his lips, pressing them together after. He realizes he somehow made a habit of ignoring her. “Sorry,” he apologizes, “I don’t mean to do it on purpose.”

“It’s fine, New. I’m not going to hold a grudge against you for it,” May answers lightheartedly. She sounded more happier than usual, New notices.

"What's up? You suddenly asked if I was free."

"Actually I wanted to talk with you and thought maybe you could make some time for me?”

New raises his eyebrows curiously. “Yeah, of course. What time were you thinking?”

"After work possibly?" May asks, “If you don’t mind meeting me instead of your friend.”

New perks up at the slight mention of Tay, reminding him of the request his friend had left him. New thinks this could be a good excuse not to see Tay today either, giving him more time to think over the situation.

When New doesn't reply, May interrupts, "Unless you already have plans after work today...?"

"Oh! Oh, no! After work is fine," New quickly replies, sitting up in his bed, "This must be something important."

May hums, not giving a definite answer. "I'll see you at work then."

New nods as he replies, "Yes. See you later."

Hanging up with May, New was quick to search for Tay's contact in his phone and send a quick message to let him know he couldn't eat dinner with him or Off today. Once it's sent, he checks the time and finds out he only has just a few minutes left to shower and get ready.

-

Once New had cleaned up his area after work, making sure to turn off his PC in habit, he looks towards May's area and sees her getting ready to leave as well. As he waits for her, he looks around the office room for the Advertising Team and notices how full and busy it is today. It makes sense, he thinks. Holidays are arriving one by one and soon it will be Christmas and New Years. Although they will be out of work for those two weeks during those days, the days prior is filled with rushed work and stressed conversations between co-workers. Something New never looked forward to.

"What's wrong, New?" he hears a delicate voice suddenly speak beside him. He glances down at May who has finished getting ready to departure. New appreciates the ponytail she’s styling today, her curls bouncing as she moves her head. She wasn’t wearing heavy makeup today and her lips didn’t carry any sort of product, New notices.

"No, it's nothing," New dismisses with the shake of his head, taking his eyes off her mouth, "just thinking about the upcoming weeks."

May laughs with a nod of acknowledgement as the two fall into step, heading towards the elevator. "It does get crazy, but at least we get two weeks off work after. There's something to look forward to."

New nods, a small crack of a smile on his lips. "But we have to get through the workload before we can really relax and look forward to those days off."

Once they arrive at the elevator, New was quick to press the button that printed the down arrow. As they wait, New looks over at May and notices her rolling her eyes playfully as she replies, "You need to relax, New."

New's smile falters a bit at the sentence, reminding New of what Tay had told him many times before 'the night'. Shaking the memory away, he responds, "Not with what's coming ahead. I don't think anyone can really relax."

"That's true," May replies with a hum which New nods at, "but you can't just waste your time just working all the time."

New wrinkles his eyebrows toward May in question. May laughs at the face he makes before explaining, "What I mean is, don't forget to have fun too. With how stressful and heavy work can get, especially with the holidays sales coming up, you need to remember to keep yourself happy as well.”

New stares at May who was looking ahead, watching the numbers on the elevator rise to their floor. New asks, “Like a way to de-stress?”

May nods, “Yeah, exactly. A fun hobby to do or watching your favorite show.”

The elevator dings at its arrival and the two step inside, New pondering in thought as May presses the first floor.

-

In the end, New and May came to a small cafe close to GMM because May still had work left to do before she could call it a day. New reminds himself to grab himself a proper dinner before heading home after this, knowing he wasn’t going to be full. Maybe he could try by his usual convenience store where he usually buys his breakfast.

"What looks good?" May asks, catching New's attention as the waitress waits beside their table with a pad and pencil in their hands.

Looking down at the menu in his hands, he quickly scans the list and answers, "Milk Latte.” Noticing a picture of a small strawberry cake, New’s eyes light up at the desert and points at it, “And this too. Thank you.”

May hums and follows up with her own. "Americano, please. Two shots."

Once the waitress walks away with their menus and orders, New intertwines his fingers and rests them on top of the table. He decides to start the conversation, "So, what was it that you wanted to talk about?"

May smiles, leaning back against her chair as to relax herself. Looking down a her lap where her own hands hid, she begins, "I think you already know this, but...I like you, New."

New blinks, a bit taken back by the sudden confession.

"Although you try to act indifferent, I think I made it pretty obvious about my feelings for you, even though I got rejected many times in different ways," May continues when New stays quiet, finally looking up to meet New’s wide ones, “like the time at the company dinner or the many times I try to eat out with you alone.”

New slides his hands off the table and lets it fall on his lap, looking away from May's gaze in guilt. Still, he nods his head in shame. Licking his lips, he attempts to explain himself, “I didn’t mean to ignore your feelings to make you feel bad in any way, but I just didn’t want to lose a friend...I’m sorry.”

May sighs. "I'm not mad at you, New, so don't look so sad," she says, making New lift his eyes at her as she continued, "Although it did hurt the first few times..."

New drops his gaze again. "I was a dick to ignore your feelings. I knew that at the time and I still think I am. I just...couldn’t say anything.”

May chuckles, though it didn’t sound cheerful. "I'm glad you realize that."

"I'm sorry, May.”

"It's fine, New," May says just as the waitress from before comes with their orders. The strawberry cake New ordered suddenly didn't look as appetizing as it did before in the picture as it gets put in front of him. Once he waitress walks away, May continues, "Besides, I realize you're not the one for me, so I’m not mad."

New peeks up at her, eyebrows furrowed.

May smiles at New’s confused face, picking up her drink and taking a sip. "I’m saying I don’t like you as much as I used to. Of course, I still have lingering feelings, but I think that’s more friendly that it is crush worthy."

"Can I ask what happened?" New asks.

May hums in thought at first before answering, “Well I think I slowly starting accepting the thought of our chances of getting together being close to slim, but what really hit home for me is when Tawan told me you didn’t like me. Although he said it pretty aggressively.”

New drops his face down again. Tay was the one who had to reject her for him. Just the thought embarrassed New. “I’m sorry,” he says again, feeling even more crappy than before, “I should’ve been the one to confront you about your feelings and what happened back at the company dinner too.” But instead it’s May and Tay who’s been going around and fixing his issues and worries.

May stays silent and New knew she agreed with him. Feeling more crappy, New slumps back against his seat and blankly stares at his cake. Although it always comes back to this feeling, New still continues to avoid his problems.

“What I meant to tell you today, really, is that I hope we can continue to be friends,” May says, interrupting New’s thoughts.

“Even after I treated your feelings like shit?”

May laughs before nodding her head. “But that doesn’t mean I forgive you. You’ll just have to pay me back one day.”

New gives her a small smile, nodding his head. “I’m sorry, May,” he apologizes once again.

"It's fine," May reassures with a shake of her hand, "I understand and accept the situation now more than I did before."

Situation? “What situation?” he asks out loud.

“About you and Tay. All I’m saying is that I support you as a friend and I hope we can continue to work well together.”

Him and Tay? New’s eyebrows scrunch. Did May know about what happened between Tay and him? But there is no way of her knowing when Tay was so adamant about not telling anyone who left the hickeys.

“Do you not like your dessert? You’re letting it melt,” May says as she lifts her drink up to her lips as her eyes dart towards New’s untouched cake and latte.

Smiling at May and letting her previous statement pass, New lets himself enjoy his strawberry cake. At least now he had one less issue to worry about.


End file.
